Big News!

First off, just wanted to say I've been busy with life and finally finished my Master's degree in Accounting! Next step is studying and taking the CPA exam, which will take me probably longer than a year. But I'm okay with that. :)

Secondly, and way more exciting: I'M PREGNANT!! I'm sure everyone that reads this blog already knows, but I still wanted to put it out there. Niklas and I are so excited to be starting our family and look forward to welcoming this little soul into the world. I am due November 12th, and find out the sex of the baby on the morning of June 24th! We both have been feeling like it will be a girl, so time will tell if that's true or not.

Things are looking great so far---we heard the baby's heartbeat today and it is going strong, which makes me very happy.

Even though this is a month old (click on it to see larger version), here is an ultrasound pic of our little developing one done April 21st, when I was almost 11 weeks. You can see arms, legs, and a little face. The last picture was the measuring of the heartbeat.

I'm sure I'll try to explain how I'm feeling about all of this in future posts, but for now, amazed, humbled, joyful, worried, and love pretty much sums it up. :) Off to eat pizza and cookies! (Hey, baby wants....)

25 Things Blah Blah, etc.

Let's get this over with...

24) I had a huge crush on Mario (as in Super Mario) as a child. Weird, I know. Then I had a crush on Ringo Starr from the Beatles, and Mike Nesmith from the Monkees in my junior high years; and let's not forget Rex Harrison from My Fair Lady, etc. And then I grew up. :)

25) I like to read. I'm all about Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Elizabeth Gaskell, etc. I love literature from the 1800's that is clean and portrays a great moral message. Plus, I like the clean romance. I'm a romantic on the inside, but which girl isn't?

There, I'm done. Sheesh. I'm ready to just WRITE about whatever.

So this post really has no purpose other than to be used to record thoughts out of my head. I'm just sitting here on my lunch break, feeling as if I am looking at the horizon or a pinnacle of a mountain. I have no idea what lies ahead for Niklas and me in anything. It's amazing to me to think that he will be staring his last year in school this fall, and graduate (fingers crossed!) by July 2011. That means he has to start preparing to apply to different graduate schools. Is that possible?? Have I really been in Idaho for over 2 years since we married? Where did all that time go? And where are we going to end up? Idaho, or somewhere else?

And I'll be graduating with my online Master's degree in Accounting in May 2011. Since the time I had started my college classes I had no idea why I was pursuing a Master's degree. Sounds foolish, right? All I knew was that I had this crazy-strong desire to go back to school, and that desire was non-existent after graduating with my Bachelor's degree. So a couple days ago I was in an employee evaluation meeting with my boss and he tells me he thinks I should become a CPA. And suddenly the stars aligned: he's right. I had NO desire to take that track; and suddenly it hit me that that's the right way to go, that is why I was given the desire to get my Master's degree. Pretty simple, right? I had already figured from the start that that was why I was getting this second degree, and I didn't like it. But I was pursuing the Master's anyway since I felt it was right. However, in gist, I have had no desire to become a CPA because I am not a career person and want, more than anything, to be a full-time mother. But after that meeting a desire was kindled in me, and I know it wasn't from me. It is going to be a hard, long road, but I am determined and know I'll recieve help since it is the right track. I know that anything that will allow me to do some work from my own home to help our little family out financially in the long-run will be beneficial. So...wish me luck.

Also, I realized while I had all of this running in my mind that my attitude about life isn't always so good. I figured once my Master's degree was over, then I could relax = be happier since I would have less on my plate. But obviously the CPA thing has changed that. And add the fact that children will be had in time (no, I'm not pregnant, just saying). So that basically means that my life will be forever busy. There is not going to be a time where I will have nothing to worry about, less responsibilities. It's always going to be this way! Then why am I not choosing to be happy now and enjoy the present? It's not that I've been unhappy per se, but I've wanted to move on with life in so many ways when I can't yet. Instead of looking at it as a burden, I've needed to see and realize that each day is a gift from God. And who am I tell Him that it isn't enough? That it isn't fulfilling? I read this article in the March 2010 Ensign that hit home for me: we should not only endure our time here on earth; but endure it well and find joy in all that we undertake. And I know that to be true with all my heart. Cheers for the time we have here now to learn and grow each and every day!

25 Things About Me, #20-23

Bet you thought I was never going to post again, huh? Well, once a new college class starts, life gets nice and busy for me. So onward until the end...

20) I'm a brat wife. I used to think that I would make some lucky guy (ha ha) the perfect wife with my sweetness, and now I find that nothing brings me more glee than sticking my icy cold fingers on my husband who is a heat bomb. My favorite place to torture with my iciness is his bare stomach because he winces, cries out, and then makes a pouty face in defeat each time. I mean, what kind of sick, sadistic person would do that? Me, it turns out. But don't feel too bad for Niklas: he loves to mess with/tease people, especially me. He loves pranks. Thus, I am simply providing balance to the universe. (Love you, Hon'!)

21) I fear back fat. You know what I'm talking about: the nice, plump rolls that appear on your upper back after you put your bra on (obviously a female thing). Only few enjoy the company of these rolls, and I happen to be susceptible....mostly because I love anything chocolate, especially ice cream; but that's beside the point. Life goes on for my back---it's just slowly creating a comfortable cushion for the piggy back rides I'll give to my future children.

22) I'm more of a "touching" person, although I can easily keep my hands to myself. I love getting/giving hugs, Niklas holding me, someone playing with my hair, etc. I enjoy the affection/love that is expressed in such simple gestures.

23) I find humor in others' ventings of frustration. I realize that this sounds completely insensitive and horrible; but I'm talking about the smaller, everyday annoyances and/or frustrations. Don't ask me why I'm this way. Maybe because I get SOO irritated at times, especially at inanimate objects that I will talk to with a stern, acidic voice and be rough with (as if that will make it change its ways). But outside of the situation, you can see how comical it really is.

Oh, look at the time---time to work! Hooray it's Friday.

25 Things About Me Cont'd, #12 -19

(Random pic from my oldest sister's wedding day, December 2007.)

Okay, I am determined to finish my list here; it will just take me a while since I only have desire to post on my lunch breaks (funny how that works).

12) At the time of writing #3, I really didn't have any cavities...until last week. It finally happened: I have 2 fillings I have to get done next week. It is such a bummer after having a perfect track record! And I have no idea what to expect except unpleasantness. Ick.

13) I love nature. I've always loved looking at the landscape on car trips and contemplating life, etc. I love how it feels to be among God's creations which are so beautiful. My mom has a major green thumb and created the most wonderful gardens at home in WA. I want to have my own garden someday. I often have this longing deep down to find a "thinking spot" in nature for myself. I have not found one yet, but maybe I will be able to create it someday. And although I pretty much love all flowers, I find daffodils very cute and charming. They make me smile. (Below are pictures from my parent's home--except for the daffodil.)

14) I wanted a pen-pal from another place really bad when I was younger (grade school and on). Every time I tried to get one through the schools it never worked out. I loved to write in general, and wanted to know what another's life in a different part of the world was like in comparison to my own.

15) I think about lots of things at a given time, but I have very linear thinking when it comes to tasks and eating. I like to work on one task at a time before moving onto the next. But I am getting better at moving on to another task even though the first one may not be completed. I also have this weird habit sometimes of eating one food at a time on my plate until it's gone. This isn't always the case, but it happens often enough that I notice. I think it's because I'm enjoying the flavor of that one particular food at that time and I don't want to ruin the effect by dipping into another before it's over. :P I believe my mom is also this way.

16) I jumped off a highway (?) bridge during the summer of my freshman year in college--everybody was doing it. ;) I jumped it twice and was freaked both times. During the second jump I recieved a skinned knee from not clearing the bridge wall and even did a butt flop on the water below that gave me a splash-shaped bruise. It wasn't one of my brighter moments.

17) I ran a half-marathon in Utah last summer with a friend, 13.1 miles. It was hard training for me and even though I'm dealing with a knee that isn't completely normal yet, I'm really glad I did it at least once. The adrenaline rush was awesome during the last half mile. :) I like to run and hope I can do it more in the future (though no more races).

18) I love people. You might not think so with how shy I can be at times, but I really find everyone interesting. I love learning about people's lives and what they have been through that has shaped them into who they are today. I feel so good when people open up their life experiences and struggles to me; I like understanding them better. I've had great conversations with total strangers in a hospital, on airplanes, in the airport, etc. I find that I am in awe of so many that have been through hard times and are still so happy. I learn so much from other's experiences.

19) My favorite color of all time is purple. It is soo pretty. My current work office has little bits of purple throughout it. I had a purple-themed bedroom in Colorado along with a purple purse. I used to have lots of purple clothes. I also used to have a purple-covered couch that my now-husband said looked like a Barney couch (I'm sitting on it in a pic from my last post). So the cover was banished to the closet... Someday my purple fettish will prevail and find expression...somewhere.

Looks like that's all there's time for today!

Reaches my Reaching

So this post is not a continuation of the 25 Things About Me...just a regular post. Sorry to dissappoint, but you still get to know me from my narratives, remember?

Yesterday I logged in to my gmail account online and for whatever reason, decided to see how far back my emails went. All the way back to August 2006. And next thing I knew, I was hooked on reading about my life at that time through emails. It's amazing how much you forget about your experiences from recently past years.


Basically my life was all fun during the fall of 2006. I was doing an internship at Lockheed Martin in Colorado, had introduced the Gospel to a guy at work that I was dating, and was planning on marrying this person the next year. When I was reading the emails, I remembered the happiness and silliness from that time.


Then 2007 emails hit. It was almost astonishing reading the emails from one month to the next and realizing how fast everything went downhill; in a matter of a month. Suddenly my fun emails turned to pain-filled emotional ones, and a remembrance of that pain came back. Being broken up with with no explanation; seeing this person I thought I was going to marry turn his back on the Gospel; having to work with this person each and every day who ignored and even despised my very existence. I remembered that feeling of a physical hole in my heart and the loss. It was awful, which is an understatement.


I continued to sift through emails, through the summer of 2007. Soon they were filled with more hope, less sorrow and irritation. Suddenly another person showed up in my life, someone who had been special to me years before in high school. It started out friendly, and once again, disappointment and sadness hit. I saw everyone struggling around me and it weighed heavily on me. I kept reaching out for friendship and always got my hand slapped. I don't think I was reaching out in the right way. Relationships with loved ones were and became more difficult.


And then I saw that I was emailing my oldest sister a lot. We were talking about life, about the Gospel and church, about feelings about the future. It meant and still means so much to me. She came to Colorado to go with me to a pioneer trek and it was an amazing and fun experience to have her there with me during that time in my life.

Then the fall of 2007 hit. My mom came next to visit me in Colorado, wanted to see family landmarks while she was there. I remembered having decided at that time that I was done with dating--it hurt too bad and it wasn't what I wanted my life to center around. I wasn't very happy, so I told Heavenly Father that I was going to focus on Him and be good, and that was all that would matter.


I was grumpy during my mom's visit (sorry Mom). I was tired one day, and it happened to be on the day that we were heading to visit Erie, the Garden of the Gods, and then a friend of my mom's who lived in Colorado Springs.







Eventually when we got to Colorado Springs, I was done. It was 8 p.m., I didn't care to be there just because it had been a long day and I knew this wouldn't be a short trip. We were there until the very early hours. And it turns out I was loving it. I had never laughed so hard in my life than during that night. And yes, these are pictures from that night--at 3:30 a.m.! We ended up spending the night because it was so ridiculously late.









I kept reading through emails between my then-engaged oldest sister and my mom; I loved being with this family on the weekends. It was a breath of fresh air to be around them when I had been feeling so alone and weary emotionally; and next thing I knew I was falling hard for someone. Little did I know that Heavenly Father had been preparing me for one of my greatest blessings in this life: my husband. Wow, it was amazing reading my emails about Niklas. It was so funny and so sweet. I had that high from being in love with a wonderful man.

After reading this little snippet in my life, I realized that God had been there guiding my life the whole time. I didn't realize how much He was there supporting me, giving me those hard experiences to influence and to grow. Grudges and emotional battles I had been praying about have been lifted in abundance, without me even realizing it. I couldn't believe how much I had grown from those experiences. I caught a glimpse of how Heavenly Father sees me: a daughter who is learning and striving, not a mistake-ridden ball of insecurity as I would often see myself. I really felt His love for me and gratitude filled my whole soul.

I just had to share. It made me realize I need to save all of these emails; the good, the bad, the ugly for myself. I learned so much from my past; and I know you can too. :)

Mmmmm...

What happens when you put chocolate chip oatmeal cookies of massive proportions in close proximity to a Starving Karen?

Happy Retirement Day, Dad!

I can't believe you're finally retired as of today, Dad! Thank you for supporting all of us throughout our lives. I love how hardworking and service-oriented you are, and I hope to live up to your example. I am so grateful to have you for my father here on earth. I hope you find joy in your retirement, and I look forward to many more cherished talks and memories with you. Thank you for all that you've done for me (which is so, so much). I love you, Dad!