Of Nickel, Konky and Chocolate

It's the Final Countdown...!

2011-11-08T12:25:00.003-07:00

I am around 39.5 weeks along today, and all I can think is..."Really?? When did that happen?!" For months I have been wishing for November to get here already, and suddenly...here it is. I keep going all over the spectrum emotionally, from being really excited and impatient for Clara to get here, to being super scared and not wanting her to rush her appearance. I realize this is normal, but it's emotionally exhausting! I have been doing tons of baby laundry in hopes of at least feeling a little more prepared. Have I cleaned our apartment top to bottom? No. Have I gotten to the sewing projects I wanted to do before her arrival, such as her Christmas stocking and teddy bear, etc.? No. Am I basically trying to take it easy as much as possible before my life is turned upside down? Yes. Do I feel guilty about it, given my easily-guilted nature? Maybe slightly, but not enough to make me kick myself into gear right now. Ahh, it's so nice for once. :)

I am feeling super optimistic today. There are so many good things that have happened/will happen over the next few weeks:

I found out this morning that I passed the Financial Accounting and Reporting (FAR) section of the CPA exam that I took in October (!!!). I have three more sections to pass over the next 18 months, but I'll tackle those eventually.

Niklas and I are going to be parents in a matter of days, and we both have no idea what we're doing. But we'll figure it out like everyone else.

My mother-in-law is flying in this Thursday and will stay with us for a little over a week to help with the cleaning and whatever needs to get done. So nice.

Niklas' brother and wife are also showing up this weekend to pay a visit.

This Friday is my last day of work before maternity leave!

My mom will be flying in for her grandma shift after my mother-in-law heads back to WA. She will be spending Thanksgiving with our new threesome family.

Niklas graduates with his Bachelor's degree in English this December!!! :D After that, we have no idea what's in store for him/us. He was planning on applying to a few graduate schools whilst also applying for full-time employment. Sometimes all of these unknowns freak me out; but today I'm feeling that everything will fall into place and be fine in the long-run.

Now, if only I could bottle these spouts of optimism and keep it for the future rainy days. Ah, well.

So there you have it, folks. I'm standing on the edge of a major life-altering event, and all I can say, is...bring it on; and also thank you to Heavenly Father, for all of these marvelous blessings in my life. I realize more and more just how much Niklas and I are safe-guarded in Your loving hands.

The Game of Life

2011-08-30T09:53:00.006-06:00

For Family Home Evening yesterday, Niklas and I borrowed The Game of Life from some of our friends after treating ourselves to pie at Frontier Pies (a la mode, even). Here's a rundown of what happened in each of our lives during our game:

Niklas decided college wasn't for him (he becoming sheepish after my disapproving look) and went straight for a career...as an artist, making $60,000 per payday (not bad for an artist). I decided college was well worth it and took the plunge, incurring $40,000 of debt to become a teacher who made $100,000 every payday. I was pretty happy about this, since I was able to immediately pay off my student loans.

Niklas and I each got married to a peg person (oh, sorry...a peg people per the game instructions...), having one girl and twin boys in each of our families (no joke!). I owned a large farm house while Niklas owned a beach hut, and I was pretty much in the lead for this whole Life game thus far, making more money and higher movement spins than Niklas. Niklas couldn't afford homeowner's insurance but was getting by okay. As life went on, he decided that not going to college initially had been a foolish mistake---so he signed up for night classes that I taught. He paid me $20,000 for his education (he got off easy, if you ask me) and ended up increasing his artist's salary to $90,000 per payday. Not bad at all!

About halfway through my life, I bought an expensive home gym so my family and I could stay in shape. Unfortunately, all the exercise went to my head. Next thing I knew, I was having a mid-life crisis--literally. I "decided" that teaching was not making me happy, so I left the university and became a professional athlete making $20,000 per payday. And Niklas, my pupil that I had helped along the way to greatness, did nothing but glory in my somewhat downfall. Ungrateful little twerp...

Because of this drastic career change, I lost the game by a mere $325,000 or so. I mean, I did do amazing things in my life---like climb Mt. Everest, create a new ice cream flavor and sport, etc. But that jerk-of-an-artist who came out on top did nothing but rub in my face that he had ended up richer than me---even until I went down to my grave. Not once did he acknowledge that I had helped him on his way to financial success...

I had a lot of fun! :D

But here's a couple of problems I had with this new version of Life....

What is up with no longer getting presents when you get married or have children??

Why do children offer no benefit whatsoever by the end of the game like they used to? What is Hasbro/Milton Bradley trying to say about the value (or lack thereof?) of children? And...if nothing else (because we know that children have massive nonmonetary worth), why couldn't any children we had at least lower our tax payments like in REAL life? (IRS dependents benefit people! "Only an accountant would think about that..." said Niklas.)

Oh well. I still enjoyed myself despite this lack of realism. ;)

In other news, I am trying to study for the Financial Accounting and Reporting section of the CPA exam and I'm already bracing myself for failure. There is SO much information to cram into your brain and remember for this test---I'll be lucky if I remember half of it. Taking the test October 14th in Pocatello and hope I can get through all of the study material I need to before then.

Niklas is still on break from college and enjoying the time off. He has been painting more of his miniatures and starting lots of different books at once. He only has one semester to go! We're planning on him graduating this December. With a new baby coming in November, I'm sure it will be...an adventure while he's still got a month of school left. But hey, we're not the first couple to go through this scenario, and we won't be the last. I know Niklas will make it through all right with lots of hardwork (and me being the primary baby-watcher, of course).

Clara is still baking away, and has about 2.5 months left until she's ready. She's still just hanging out and starting to enjoy resting some part of herself on the left side of my belly button---making for a slightly lopsided mommy belly on the outside.

Life is good (the real thing and the boardgame)!

10 Things I Love About My Husband

2011-08-24T11:57:00.015-06:00

(This is Niklas from when his family lived in Washington (1988ish?), looking up at the snow coming down with the rain. This is one of my favorite pictures of him as a child.)

1) His love of nature. One of Niklas' favorite places to go is the gardens on-campus at BYU-I, and he would love to get back to the greenery and forests of Washington state. He would love to go camping (haven't done that together yet) and always enters this sort of zone whenever we are walking out and about in nature. It's like he is in awe of the touch of God's hand within nature; and I love that we share this same enjoyment being among God's creations.

2) His creativity and artistic ability. I'm sure Niklas would argue with me on this one, since he doesn't see his artistic abilities as that fantastic compared to others. But he definitely has artistic talent! He can draw, paint, and sculpt really well--at least in my opinion. :) I appreciate being able to get his help in coming up with a Halloween costume or color pallettes for my sewing projects. He is far superior to me in the artistic realm, and I really admire his abilities. (His current project? Making lightsabers out of PC pipe. I'll post a pic as soon as I have one.)

3) His love of children. Seriously, which wife/girl doesn't love this about any man? Niklas has always wanted children---lots of children. In fact, probably more children than I'll ever be able to give birth to---9 or 10!! Of course, it was kind of a joke...or semi-serious joke. Not only does he want his own biological children, but he would love to be able to adopt other children in the future. He loves to play and interact with the kids in our combined families and I know he is going to be a very involved father with our own children (though he'll love to tease them endlessly, I'm sure). And funny enough, he finds pigtails on little girls completely adorable.

4) His pouty face. I think I already mentioned this before on here, but I cannot get enough of Niklas' pouty face. I unfortunately don't have a picture of it, but it cracks me up every time. Of course, his pouty face is probably supposed to make me feel sorry for him; but instead it makes me laugh. I find it totally endearing.

5) His physical sense of humor. Yes, Niklas has his little twisted sense of humor; but he also is completely unself-conscious about animatedly acting ridiculous. I refuse to play the game "Curses!" because you have to look like a complete idiot in front of others; but Niklas eats it up. The first time I met him in Colorado, he was telling me and my mom about how ridiculous popped collars on men's polo shirts looked---and then he proceeded to pop his own collar and walk around exactly like a chicken. My mom and I DIED laughing. He can always make me laugh, since he has a bit of an entertainer in him that I find amusing. He has the unabashed physical humor that amuses others, especially when he starts busting a funky groove.

(Niklas and his sister Jacqueline, dressed up 50's style for some kind of event. This picture always makes me smile.)

6) His love of books and learning. Although Niklas hasn't enjoyed the grades part of college, he is passionate about being a life-long learner. He loves learning about history, sword fighting, literature, etc. And he absolutely loves books. He would love to have his own library someday so he can stock up on all the books he wants and read them all at his leisure (sort of like the libraries from Jane Austen times). He is all about literature and is also a great writer. It's nice being able to discuss books with him (although we haven't read a lot of the same material), and I look forward to maybe reading Crime and Punishment together. (I've read it once--Niklas, never.) In fact, he's always trying to get me to read all kinds of stuff he's read (classic literature), but I have no desire right now. I know, how bad of me...but thus it is.

7) His cooking skills! Niklas is a great cook. While I have to follow any given recipe line by line (NO deviations) in the rare times I do cook, Niklas can simply throw ingredients together and have the dish turn out really delicious. He instinctively can tell what spices work well together and create a masterpiece. His favorite type of cooking, however, would be grilling. Someday we'll get one and then he can do all the grilled meats he wants. :)

8) His gift for teaching. Niklas has a natural desire to have an impact on the people around him---and when he has taught classes (in church mostly, though he did teach a college class once this last semester for his T.A. job), he knows how to hold the classes' attention by making the subject interesting and throwing in some humor (whether by props or likening life, etc. to Star Wars). He loves to teach and has a knack for it, which is why he hopes to be able to become a university professor someday. (And I would be extremely proud of him being a teacher!)

9) His love of the Gospel. Niklas has a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and has a deep respect for the prophets and apostles throughout history. He loves to learn more about the gospel through studying church literature and isn't afraid to talk to others about the gospel. He seeks and strives to be the best patriarch he can be for our family, and he loves God and Jesus Christ with all of his heart.

10) His soul. Okay, so this is kind of a cop-out---I was having issues thinking of #10. ;) But really, it's a true statement. Though Niklas and I are so different in so many ways, and we drive each other crazy too often than I care to elaborate....I have a deep connection with this man that I didn't have with any other. We have our struggles like any other couple, but when it comes down to it, Niklas is a safe place for me to come to amidst the highs and lows of life. I'm grateful that we are both committed to each other no matter what happens.

(Taken the day I was to receive my endowment, a week before Niklas and I were married.)

So there you go. Niklas has been wrestling with his laptop all day (yay for viruses), so hopefully this post will bring some sunshine to his most-likely gloomy state of mind. ;)

After-Breakfast "Snack" = No Shame

2011-08-23T08:21:00.006-06:00

Did I seriously finish the rest of this yummy sorbet this morning as soon as I got to work? Yes, yes I did. And it was glorious.

Good News and More Ultrasound Pics

2011-08-19T08:27:00.012-06:00

So! The glucose drink wasn't as nasty as I thought it would be, but was definitely nasty---imagine a concentrated dosage of Otter Pops and doctor-office suckers for kids, and add in some acidic burning, and you pretty much got it. I had to drink the stuff in intervals.

At the actual appointment, I found out that my placenta did move away from the cervix, which means no C-section in my future! I was relieved. Also, I passed my glucose screening test, so I don't have the drink anymore of that nasty stuff until I am pregnant with my second child! This also made me very happy.

While doing the ultrasound to check on the placenta, the tech graciously took a few more shots of our little Clara. Unfortunately, Clara still had her head turned to the side slightly to prevent a straight-on profile shot; plus she had her arm/hand right up at her face/lips. The tech caught her playing with her toes again as well. :) So cute! The tech was jossling Clara just a bit to get her to move, so she gifted me with a few swift kicks--it was surreal seeing her move on the ultrasound screen while feeling it happening. I can't wait to meet this little one.

And now, for the pics. I decided to finally stick a belly shot on here---here is me at almost 28 weeks (will be on Saturday):

I've been feeling pretty good besides the fatigue, so I can't complain too much. I mean, don't get me wrong--I am defintely experiencing typical pregnancy symptoms that we won't go into, since you'll find out how repulsive I've really become. :B Just kidding...well, not really, but we can pretend. It's only going to get more uncomfortable with the growing here on out, however, so I'm going to enjoy this time while I can!

And presenting little Clara (the pics may be a bit tiny, so you'll have to click on them and zoom):

Hoping for Sickly Sweet Goodness...?

2011-08-18T09:20:00.008-06:00

Just a quickie post. I felt fine when I got to work, besides feeling tired...but now I feel exactly how I did after running a few miles and lifting weights back in the day: completely worn out. It's not even 10 a.m. yet! :'(

In other news, I have my 28-week prenatal appointment later today, consisting of another ultrasound and the glucose screening test. The ultrasound is to check on the location of the placenta, since at my 20-week ultrasound, the tech found that it was located within 1-2 cm from the cervix. If the placenta is still that close to the cervix, I'll have to get a C-section ultimately(ugh); but the doctor was pretty confident the placenta would move away from the cervix as my uterus grew with time. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that today's ultrasound will result in good news. I'm also hoping to see little Clara again while they are looking around in there. I love seeing her move around in her little wonderland. :)

I'm also keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be able to drink this stuff down:

Mmmm, yummy.... Not. I don't know about you, but the thought of drinking a pure sugar drink makes me want to gag. But I have a strategy: I'm going to pretend it's chocolate milk while plugging my nose. We'll see how that goes...

Addictions

2011-08-16T12:00:00.015-06:00

(I've given Niklas fair warning I was going to make this post. ;) )

Back in December during Christmas break, my husband was introduced to the board game Arkham Horror by his brother, which consists of trying to close enough other-dimensional portals before an unspeakable evil monster wakes up to kill everyone. And because Niklas gave me the most pathetic expression of pleading (which usually make me laugh more than anything else), I gave in and played this horror game with them to appease him. Little did I know there was no going back.

Subsequently, Nikas bought the game for himself and it became the #1 (and pretty much only) game that was played in our household whenever we had friends over or saw family. I thought, "Sure, the horror/monsters doing horrible things to people isn't my thing, but it's pretty fun; and it makes Niklas happy when I play." But then Niklas found out about another game by the same company, and immediately bought it as soon as it was out: Mansions of Madness.

This game is basically a horror version of Clue: you are an investigative character trying to find clues (via solving puzzles) as to why so-and-so is missing or why the mansion is a crazy place full of monsters, etc. But the clues are pretty disturbing/gross---like the last game we played I found a bloody man who had been skinned lying on an operating table next to all kinds of crude instruments, speaking his last few words of horror while handing me a silver key. And to make it worse, my oldest niece heard me reading this clue and ran out of the room crying. You can imagine how horrible I felt!

These two games, Arkham Horror and Mansions of Madness, have been the two games that have been played in succession over and over again for the last 8 months; and I've grown weary of playing the same games over, and over, and over again. But Niklas is just as zealous about them as ever.

Niklas also has other games he thoroughly enjoys, but doesn't play as often that have the same disturbing flavor: Gloom, a card game that consists of making members of a selected family suffer as much as possible before offing them; and then Zombies, which is basically killing the undead while trying to survive through it all (I have never played this last game, and have no interest to do so either).

All in all, I've realized even more strongly these past few months that 1) my husband has a twisted, dark sense of humor and entertainment, 2) I can liken his obsessions and addictions to a child that loves to watch the same movie over and over again within the same week and months, much to the exasperation of the parents, and 3) Niklas has an obsessive nature much like mine was back in the day.

I've voiced a petition to purchase "normal" games in the future, such as Life, Settlers of Catan, etc. I'm ready for some family-friendly games that we can play that won't result in upset children and adults or me having nightmares of falling to an icy death afterwards.

Now, I don't say all of this to mock my husband---I actually find his obsessive nature amusing while also struck with how different our tastes are. Niklas married a gal who has the emotional sensitivity of a 5-year-old---who still cries when watching Bambi or The Lion King. The yellow soul-sucking alien in the Green Lantern movie completely disturbed me: I kept gripping Niklas' hand tightly as if I was in labor, not realizing I was doing it; but I got the clue when he kept looking over at me with a worried expression. I mean, how miserable for him to be with someone like me during a movie he is enjoying! :P

Ironically, I have my own obsessive nature, but my obsessions come in spurts of obsession and are not so long-lived as Niklas'. Well, except one: chocolate. Everyone who knows me well knows that chocolate will always hold a special place in my heart. People told me once I got pregnant I might not want chocolate, or completely lose my taste for it. Oh, how contrare. Instead, I eat chocolate every single day in way-too-large quantities, even worse than before (though Niklas has countered that claim). In fact, I'm pretty sure this little girl I'm carrying is swimming in chocolate amniotic fluid as I type. She is either going to LOVE chocolate like her mom or absolutely ABHOR it due to my nasty eating habits and cravings. I've introduced her to chocolate-covered craisins, chocolate milk, rocky-road ice cream, thin mints, chocolate shakes, hot fudge pudding cake, smores, fudgsicles, chocolate-covered pecans, and so much more on multiple occasions. Ice cream happens to be the worst craving for me right now. But despite this, this little girl keeps making her presence known through many a jab, swift kick, or roll; and maybe that's her way of expressing her feelings about my lack of nutrition. ;)

Thoughts

2011-07-29T13:30:00.003-06:00

Dear Blog,

I've decided that you are more of a personal journal more than an entertainment blog for others at this point. :) I don't even care if something I post right now is taboo, etc. I am in one of those funks...

It's my dad's birthday today. Happy birthday Dad (again)! But it's got me thinking about time, and how fast it goes the older you get. I'm already having those, "Wow, I'm getting older and that's sort of depressing" thoughts, and I'm not even out of my 20's yet. But why should getting older be so depressing, I ask myself? Is it just because we think being older is no fun? Like life loses its potential for joy and happiness just because are kids are getting older and we are getting wrinkles? I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that we are that much closer to death. But then, why should death be seen so gloomily? It's just the next step. But most of us fear the passage into the somewhat unknown; and maybe that's why it's depressing as we get older.

Despite these gloomy thoughts on my part, I realize that I'm going to be 25 weeks pregnant tomorrow. How awesome is that? I keep thinking about this little girl and wondering who she is. Of course I am looking forward to seeing what she looks like---but who is she? I wish I could start finding that out now, but I'll have to be patient for another 15+ weeks. And even then, she'll only reveal her little personality in time, all through her growing up years.

I am so excited to become a mother, and so freaked out at the same time. I was just telling my mother-in-law this weekend that I am looking forward to having the initial time with baby (the "What the heck am I doing?!" period) ease off and getting into a more familiar routine. Everything is easier to take once you know what it is like and it is familiar. I personally love the familiar. :) I realize I may be asking myself, "What the heck am I doing?!" the rest of my life as a mom. Knowing my tendency to beat myself up with the guilt stick, I'm sure I'll feel like I've fallen short as a parent no matter what I do and don't do. However, despite all that...I want to take on this challenge of raising children. It is one of the noblest callings out there, and gets far too little credit.

Funny now when I think about my time as a kid and how I viewed my parents. As far as I was concerned, they were one team working together as Mom & Dad. Now that I'm at the starting point of having a family, I realize how much I don't feel like a team with Niklas, a.k.a., not agreeing on everything when it comes to how to raise children, etc. However, I'm suspecting no matter what we will end up disagreeing on, our children may still view us as a team with one mind. It must be the children's purity that projects that onto us older and "wiser" adults who know we are still trying to figure things out. ;)

And speaking of being a team... I have this back-burner, slight fear that Niklas and I won't even know each other at the end of our lives when our children are all moved out and it's just us again. No, I'm not trying to borrow trouble; I have just heard about it happening too often to couples who didn't make time for each other. It's hard now just to make a date night, etc. happen, and I'm already feeling the loss of that at times. It's only going to get harder after having children... we need to make it happen no matter how busy we are in life. But, like usual, that's easier said than done. :( I have no solution for this; only that if it is important to both Niklas and I, we'll make it happen. And obviously, it hasn't been important enough so far, and that needs to change.

So there you have it. A sneak peek into my funk. These thoughts are the tip of the iceburg, but that's okay for now. Overall, I am eagerly anticipating having my little girl and having Niklas graduate with his Bachelor's degree. I'm ready for some change, despite my love of the familiar; and man, will I be getting plenty of it over the next year.

Oh, and Niklas' family was here last weekend for my sister-in-law's graduation, and it was a blast. :) I really needed it. And they even threw me a surprise baby shower! It was so nice, and Clara (that's the name we have picked out---Clara Mae) is getting so spoiled already (though my mother-in-law has stated that it's not being spoiled, but LOVED). :)

Take care, blog. Thanks for listening.

Love,

Karen

25 Life Lessons

2011-07-07T19:41:00.012-06:00

I'm having alone time right now, and after being on Facebook looking at others' pics, etc., it's made me reflect on life in general and things I've learned (or observed---maybe there is no truth to it :P) over the course of my 27 years...

No matter what, bad times will always come in life at one point or another. However, good times will always come in life as well. The struggle in life is appreciating/focusing on the good times and not getting caught up in only the negative times. (I may still be trying to grasp this concept.)
Even with the best of intentions in your heart, or trying to choose right, you will always manage to offend, hurt, anger, or upset someone in some way down the road. And depending on who you are, even if you know you intended good instead of evil to another person, you may feel like crap about it the rest of your life.
Every marriage is different, and all couples have their brand of arguments/fights; but this doesn't mean that if you are not exactly like so-and-so couple or that if you do argue that your marriage is messed up. However, keep in mind that you can get great marriage advice from other couples who have been there and done that.
Men and women are also very different not only physically, but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. This is a good thing since the genders are equal despite their differences and are meant to complement each other. (Even as frustrating as it is trying to understand the other at times!)
More often than not, an individual will be more concerned about being understood than understanding another/others.
No matter how good of a person you try to be, someone out there will find fault with you. And you can either find fault with them back, or just keep trying to be the best you can be and move on with your life despite what others may think/say about you.
Whether we think this about ourselves or not, we are all hypocrites in a way. Nobody, besides Jesus Christ, has been perfectly consistent with what they say and do. But if we are striving to close that gap between talking the talk and walking the walk, we can't be doing too badly.
We all make mistakes, and it totally stinks when we make them, and leads to a lot of regret. However, despite making the mistakes, it's even worse to not learn and grow from those mistakes.
Every single person that ever walked, is walking and will walk this earth is unique. We each have something to offer our fellowman in our own way, be it perceived as great or small. Each individual is important and has a mission in life; and each is a child of God.
Being truly confident (and mature, I might add) in yourself or your opinion on a subject is apparent when you are able to have a discussion with another of differing views and not get nasty or angry because they don't agree with you. (Still a work in progress for most of us, me included!)
Unfortunately, negative remarks from others will almost always take precedence over the positive remarks of others regarding self.
Almost all marital arguments will come down to this: Spouse A: "I felt such-and-such way when you said/did/didn't ____ ." Spouse B: "But I didn't mean ____ the way you interpreted, so you shouldn't have taken it that way." Impasse! Who's in the "right?"
There are others better than you in a certain skill, etc. across the world. There are also others worse than you in that skill, etc. across the world.
Nobody is really entitled to anything in this world---you need to work for what you get. And even if you don't get it, keep working anyway. Everything that can be made even better in this world, whether it be friendship, marriage, a promotion, good grades, etc., takes effort, diligence, and patience.
No matter how upset you are during a marital argument, do not leave your house/apartment when it is past 1:00 or 2:00 a.m. to find a thinking spot. For all you know, that thinking spot outside could very well cost you and your spouse a police officer visit and suspicions about domestic violence. (This could be based off of a real story...)
Kindness goes a long way. Pass it on. You never know what another person is dealing with in their life at any given time, and your positive (or, unfortunately, negative) interaction could make all the difference.
Children are a blessing and a joy---but that doesn't mean they are sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows all of the time, like anything in life.... ;)
The bitter times make the sweet times more poignant and savory.
Serving others is the best way to feel true happiness when you are down or too self-absorbed with your own problems.
Children need both father and mother for guidance, since children are limited in their capacity to understand the world and right from wrong as (hopefully) an adult does. If we as parents don't love, lead, guide, and nurture our children to build good moral characters, who will??
Our choices in life define who we are becoming.
From Elder Deiter F. Uchtdorf, "Love is spelled T-I-M-E." Life is made up of small, seemingly insignificant moments with loved ones; but many of these small moments build on one another and produce strong relationships between families, friends, and individuals. Each moment is precious and fleeting. Remember what really matters in life and invest your time wisely.
While providing a means to action on occasion, worrying is likely only to accomplish two objectives: stressing you out and everyone else around you. (A big improvement area for me.)
What really matters in the end is what God thinks of you; not everyone else. (Although this doesn't mean you treat everyone else like dirt 'cause you don't care what they think---God wants you to love others and treat them accordingly.)
We are not static beings. People change throughout their lives for better or for worse, and we need to accept that. Life is a fascinating journey of discovering who we are along with our role here in regards to others, finding joy in the process, and always growing.

I realize some of these are very redundant in ways...but I'm still learning! Looking forward to what the next few years of life will bring. I'm sure becoming a mother will be a huge growth spurt for me.

It's a Girl!

2011-06-24T12:50:00.028-06:00

We just had our 2nd ultrasound this morning and we're having a little girl!! I have no time right now to write more, so enjoy the pics---I can't enough decipher half of them now. :P Unfortunately, she didn't want to cooperate with getting a face shot, so these will have to do for now.

........!!!!!!!!!!

2011-06-09T13:57:00.001-06:00

This is the week from HECK. (The extent of my cursing.) That is all.

Cursed by the Airplane Gods

2011-05-27T13:51:00.009-06:00

I seem to have the worst luck when it comes to flights. I woke up at 6:15 this morning, got out the door by 8:20, and began my drive to Boise to catch a flight to Seattle. My parents and I are going to IKEA after they pick me up from the airport and then I'm attending a friend's baby shower this Saturday. Needless to say, I was really excited when I left this morning, except for wishing Niklas could have gone with me. (He has a typical case of lots of homework on the 3-day weekend.)

Here's me driving down to Boise this morning:

Here was my view to the right:

Here was my view in front:

And here's me now:

Why the glum face? Upon checking in it turns out that my flight is 3.5 HOURS late! The plane had mechanical issues (not comforting) and instead of dropping some of its scheduled flights to make up for lost time, it simply delayed each and every one. I am both bummed and grumpy about this, as it seems I always happen to pick the flights that are delayed in the end. I'm also tired and ready for a nap, but having no husband to watch my stuff while I sleep, that won't be remedied for a few more hours. Overall, this delay means I'll be getting to bed a lot later tonight than I wanted because I have a pending project to get done by tonight.

And that is why the airplane gods hate me.

3-Year Anniversary Today!

2011-05-24T12:42:00.005-06:00

Today marks 3 years since Niklas and I were sealed for eternity in the Rexburg, ID temple. It's crazy to think that we've been married that long already, but I'm sure each year I'll feel that way. I'm grateful to have Niklas as my husband. Even though we drive each other crazy at times, I can't imagine being with anyone else; nor do I want too. It's easy, in the day-to-day living with one another, to forget (or take for granted) what a miracle it is to be married to each other at all. We are around a lot of singles all the time while serving at church, and it reminds me how much I looked forward to being married when I was single, and yet was unsure if or when it would happen. And then I remember the magic of our "dating" (more like hanging out) and ending up together. With the world getting more and more confused, scary, and hard to live in, it's nice to know that Niklas will always be a loving, supporting influence in my life. We are both imperfect people, but so far we have helped each other to grow in many ways, even if it has been a bit painful at times for both of us. So here's looking forward to another year with my sweetheart; and what a life-altering year it will be! Happy anniversary, Niklas--I love you!

Loud Talkers and Baby Stuff!

2011-05-22T15:45:00.026-06:00

Yesterday, Niklas and I hit Idaho Falls to do some window shopping in the downtown area, along with other errands. It was a beautiful day and was nice just to walk around in the sun. After a while, I really wanted some ice cream. Big surprise---I always want ice cream now. So we stopped by Sundae's Eats & Treats and I ordered a sugar cone with mint cookie ice cream while Niklas got some rainbow sherbert and a philly cheesesteak sandwich (one of his favorites it would seem). The gal taking our orders asked if we were planning on sharing the sandwich, to which I said no, and Niklas and I went to sit down. Right before we get to a table, this random boy (I'm guessing in junior high---13-14 years old?) who is sitting at a nearby table with a much younger boy, loudly asks, "You don't like to eat?!" Then I explain to this random stranger that I just want ice cream right now, and he (being Niklas) wants the sandwich. So Niklas and I sit, and the next thing that comes out of this kids' mouth to Niklas is something like, "If you put chocolate in front of a woman, she'll want you." I was totally incredulous---wow, this kid is totally clueless about women and some aspects of social decorum, not to mention having this "man-to-man" chat with my husband while I'm sitting there. For some reason, I found it totally unsettling that this young kid had these ideas about women already. Anywho, at that point I wasn't in the mood to hear all of this boy's widsom on how to catch a woman, so I turned to my ice cream and gave it my full attention. A few minutes later, Taylor Swift's "Tim McGraw" song came on over the speakers, and the kid loudly says (in our direction), "I HATE this song! It makes me jealous." ....Whaaaat??? Don't get my wrong; I basically like people, even ones that have a tendency to butt into your mental space at times. And I do believe in being kind in thought, word, and deed, though I am human and fail way too often than I would like. But honestly, this kid was not rubbing me the right way---I was tired, my feet hurt, and was basically in no mood to deal with a loud person who kept giving way more insight into their psyche than I cared to know that day. In short, Niklas and I didn't turn to him to get sucked into asking, "Why jealous?" We kept on eating and I tried to maintain happy thoughts. Of course, the evil side of me thought, "I really hope I don't have a son that thinks like that, or shoves their way into people's notice!" This kid even sauntered when he walked. Anyway, I'm not saying I thought this kid is a bad person or anything; but being pregnant and all, I was not in the mood for this kid's unwanted conversation! Besides that little blip, Niklas and I had a pleasant walk around town, and then dragged ourselves home after doing some much-needed grocery shopping.

Okay, onto some baby loot we've gathered so far! :D We have a crib and a mattress:

A cute, neutral teddy bear bedding set (I LOVE the teddy bears!):

The matching teddy bear play mat:

A teddy bear boppy:

A traveling system:

And a play pen (or whatever they're called), photo courtesy of my mom:

I also have a cream-of-the-crop breast pump, but I figured you wouldn't really want to see a picture of that. ;) I'm not looking forward to having to use it down the road. Just sayin'... We have also bought a couple of extra mattress covers and bed sheets. I was eager to start getting our baby stuff, but I'll have to wait on the clothes for now. I want to get a nice variety of neutral and gender-specific things eventually. I might even try my hand at sewing a few things, but we'll see if that actually pans out or not.

Overall, things are well. I'm still working full-time and enjoying the relaxation (too much--the apartment is always a mess) from school while Niklas is working hard to graduate with his Bachelor's degree in English this December. He has also been working as a teacher's assistant for an English professor and will have an opportunity to teach a college class on June 15th, which I think is pretty neat.

Here are some pictures from the last few months of us (mostly Niklas actually):

Niklas modeling (with his creepy clown face) a Superman Snuggy my mom bought for him as a gag gift after Christmas. This cracked me up because Niklas was always going on about how anyone wearing a Snuggy looked like a cultist. Now he can start his own Superman cult (notice Superman in the background)!

Niklas putting together Star Wars Pocket Models (basically made out of plastic card stock), with a look of, "Why are you taking a pictures of me and my nerdy habits?" :D

Niklas playing with his newly-created pocket models: a Snow Speeder shooting at an AT-AT.

These next three were taken today.

Niklas painting some miniature models at the kitchen table. Besides enjoying the process, painting seems to be a stress-reliever for him as well.

This is the robot miniature he was painting in the last picture (there is no way I could paint all those tiny details).

And here's a picture of me at 15 weeks in our cluttered apartment. I'm actually wearing a belly band here, since those pants are too tight for comfort in the waist now. I'm hoping to have more of an obvious baby bump by my next appointment in June. :)

Oh, and we bought a tomato plant this weekend! I'm looking forward to getting some home-grown tomatoes this year!

That's all the updates for now! :)

Big News!

2011-05-20T16:55:00.009-06:00

First off, just wanted to say I've been busy with life and finally finished my Master's degree in Accounting! Next step is studying and taking the CPA exam, which will take me probably longer than a year. But I'm okay with that. :)

Secondly, and way more exciting: I'M PREGNANT!! I'm sure everyone that reads this blog already knows, but I still wanted to put it out there. Niklas and I are so excited to be starting our family and look forward to welcoming this little soul into the world. I am due November 12th, and find out the sex of the baby on the morning of June 24th! We both have been feeling like it will be a girl, so time will tell if that's true or not.

Things are looking great so far---we heard the baby's heartbeat today and it is going strong, which makes me very happy.

Even though this is a month old (click on it to see larger version), here is an ultrasound pic of our little developing one done April 21st, when I was almost 11 weeks. You can see arms, legs, and a little face. The last picture was the measuring of the heartbeat.

I'm sure I'll try to explain how I'm feeling about all of this in future posts, but for now, amazed, humbled, joyful, worried, and love pretty much sums it up. :) Off to eat pizza and cookies! (Hey, baby wants....)

25 Things Blah Blah, etc.

2010-06-23T12:28:00.008-06:00

Let's get this over with...

24) I had a huge crush on Mario (as in Super Mario) as a child. Weird, I know. Then I had a crush on Ringo Starr from the Beatles, and Mike Nesmith from the Monkees in my junior high years; and let's not forget Rex Harrison from My Fair Lady, etc. And then I grew up. :)

25) I like to read. I'm all about Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Elizabeth Gaskell, etc. I love literature from the 1800's that is clean and portrays a great moral message. Plus, I like the clean romance. I'm a romantic on the inside, but which girl isn't?

There, I'm done. Sheesh. I'm ready to just WRITE about whatever.

So this post really has no purpose other than to be used to record thoughts out of my head. I'm just sitting here on my lunch break, feeling as if I am looking at the horizon or a pinnacle of a mountain. I have no idea what lies ahead for Niklas and me in anything. It's amazing to me to think that he will be staring his last year in school this fall, and graduate (fingers crossed!) by July 2011. That means he has to start preparing to apply to different graduate schools. Is that possible?? Have I really been in Idaho for over 2 years since we married? Where did all that time go? And where are we going to end up? Idaho, or somewhere else?

And I'll be graduating with my online Master's degree in Accounting in May 2011. Since the time I had started my college classes I had no idea why I was pursuing a Master's degree. Sounds foolish, right? All I knew was that I had this crazy-strong desire to go back to school, and that desire was non-existent after graduating with my Bachelor's degree. So a couple days ago I was in an employee evaluation meeting with my boss and he tells me he thinks I should become a CPA. And suddenly the stars aligned: he's right. I had NO desire to take that track; and suddenly it hit me that that's the right way to go, that is why I was given the desire to get my Master's degree. Pretty simple, right? I had already figured from the start that that was why I was getting this second degree, and I didn't like it. But I was pursuing the Master's anyway since I felt it was right. However, in gist, I have had no desire to become a CPA because I am not a career person and want, more than anything, to be a full-time mother. But after that meeting a desire was kindled in me, and I know it wasn't from me. It is going to be a hard, long road, but I am determined and know I'll recieve help since it is the right track. I know that anything that will allow me to do some work from my own home to help our little family out financially in the long-run will be beneficial. So...wish me luck.

Also, I realized while I had all of this running in my mind that my attitude about life isn't always so good. I figured once my Master's degree was over, then I could relax = be happier since I would have less on my plate. But obviously the CPA thing has changed that. And add the fact that children will be had in time (no, I'm not pregnant, just saying). So that basically means that my life will be forever busy. There is not going to be a time where I will have nothing to worry about, less responsibilities. It's always going to be this way! Then why am I not choosing to be happy now and enjoy the present? It's not that I've been unhappy per se, but I've wanted to move on with life in so many ways when I can't yet. Instead of looking at it as a burden, I've needed to see and realize that each day is a gift from God. And who am I tell Him that it isn't enough? That it isn't fulfilling? I read this article in the March 2010 Ensign that hit home for me: we should not only endure our time here on earth; but endure it well and find joy in all that we undertake. And I know that to be true with all my heart. Cheers for the time we have here now to learn and grow each and every day!

25 Things About Me, #20-23

2010-06-11T12:42:00.011-06:00

Bet you thought I was never going to post again, huh? Well, once a new college class starts, life gets nice and busy for me. So onward until the end...

20) I'm a brat wife. I used to think that I would make some lucky guy (ha ha) the perfect wife with my sweetness, and now I find that nothing brings me more glee than sticking my icy cold fingers on my husband who is a heat bomb. My favorite place to torture with my iciness is his bare stomach because he winces, cries out, and then makes a pouty face in defeat each time. I mean, what kind of sick, sadistic person would do that? Me, it turns out. But don't feel too bad for Niklas: he loves to mess with/tease people, especially me. He loves pranks. Thus, I am simply providing balance to the universe. (Love you, Hon'!)

21) I fear back fat. You know what I'm talking about: the nice, plump rolls that appear on your upper back after you put your bra on (obviously a female thing). Only few enjoy the company of these rolls, and I happen to be susceptible....mostly because I love anything chocolate, especially ice cream; but that's beside the point. Life goes on for my back---it's just slowly creating a comfortable cushion for the piggy back rides I'll give to my future children.

22) I'm more of a "touching" person, although I can easily keep my hands to myself. I love getting/giving hugs, Niklas holding me, someone playing with my hair, etc. I enjoy the affection/love that is expressed in such simple gestures.

23) I find humor in others' ventings of frustration. I realize that this sounds completely insensitive and horrible; but I'm talking about the smaller, everyday annoyances and/or frustrations. Don't ask me why I'm this way. Maybe because I get SOO irritated at times, especially at inanimate objects that I will talk to with a stern, acidic voice and be rough with (as if that will make it change its ways). But outside of the situation, you can see how comical it really is.

Oh, look at the time---time to work! Hooray it's Friday.

25 Things About Me Cont'd, #12 -19

2010-05-13T12:08:00.011-06:00

(Random pic from my oldest sister's wedding day, December 2007.)

Okay, I am determined to finish my list here; it will just take me a while since I only have desire to post on my lunch breaks (funny how that works).

12) At the time of writing #3, I really didn't have any cavities...until last week. It finally happened: I have 2 fillings I have to get done next week. It is such a bummer after having a perfect track record! And I have no idea what to expect except unpleasantness. Ick.

13) I love nature. I've always loved looking at the landscape on car trips and contemplating life, etc. I love how it feels to be among God's creations which are so beautiful. My mom has a major green thumb and created the most wonderful gardens at home in WA. I want to have my own garden someday. I often have this longing deep down to find a "thinking spot" in nature for myself. I have not found one yet, but maybe I will be able to create it someday. And although I pretty much love all flowers, I find daffodils very cute and charming. They make me smile. (Below are pictures from my parent's home--except for the daffodil.)

14) I wanted a pen-pal from another place really bad when I was younger (grade school and on). Every time I tried to get one through the schools it never worked out. I loved to write in general, and wanted to know what another's life in a different part of the world was like in comparison to my own.

15) I think about lots of things at a given time, but I have very linear thinking when it comes to tasks and eating. I like to work on one task at a time before moving onto the next. But I am getting better at moving on to another task even though the first one may not be completed. I also have this weird habit sometimes of eating one food at a time on my plate until it's gone. This isn't always the case, but it happens often enough that I notice. I think it's because I'm enjoying the flavor of that one particular food at that time and I don't want to ruin the effect by dipping into another before it's over. :P I believe my mom is also this way.

16) I jumped off a highway (?) bridge during the summer of my freshman year in college--everybody was doing it. ;) I jumped it twice and was freaked both times. During the second jump I recieved a skinned knee from not clearing the bridge wall and even did a butt flop on the water below that gave me a splash-shaped bruise. It wasn't one of my brighter moments.

17) I ran a half-marathon in Utah last summer with a friend, 13.1 miles. It was hard training for me and even though I'm dealing with a knee that isn't completely normal yet, I'm really glad I did it at least once. The adrenaline rush was awesome during the last half mile. :) I like to run and hope I can do it more in the future (though no more races).

18) I love people. You might not think so with how shy I can be at times, but I really find everyone interesting. I love learning about people's lives and what they have been through that has shaped them into who they are today. I feel so good when people open up their life experiences and struggles to me; I like understanding them better. I've had great conversations with total strangers in a hospital, on airplanes, in the airport, etc. I find that I am in awe of so many that have been through hard times and are still so happy. I learn so much from other's experiences.

19) My favorite color of all time is purple. It is soo pretty. My current work office has little bits of purple throughout it. I had a purple-themed bedroom in Colorado along with a purple purse. I used to have lots of purple clothes. I also used to have a purple-covered couch that my now-husband said looked like a Barney couch (I'm sitting on it in a pic from my last post). So the cover was banished to the closet... Someday my purple fettish will prevail and find expression...somewhere.

Looks like that's all there's time for today!

Reaches my Reaching

2010-05-12T12:29:00.024-06:00

So this post is not a continuation of the 25 Things About Me...just a regular post. Sorry to dissappoint, but you still get to know me from my narratives, remember?

Yesterday I logged in to my gmail account online and for whatever reason, decided to see how far back my emails went. All the way back to August 2006. And next thing I knew, I was hooked on reading about my life at that time through emails. It's amazing how much you forget about your experiences from recently past years.

Basically my life was all fun during the fall of 2006. I was doing an internship at Lockheed Martin in Colorado, had introduced the Gospel to a guy at work that I was dating, and was planning on marrying this person the next year. When I was reading the emails, I remembered the happiness and silliness from that time.

Then 2007 emails hit. It was almost astonishing reading the emails from one month to the next and realizing how fast everything went downhill; in a matter of a month. Suddenly my fun emails turned to pain-filled emotional ones, and a remembrance of that pain came back. Being broken up with with no explanation; seeing this person I thought I was going to marry turn his back on the Gospel; having to work with this person each and every day who ignored and even despised my very existence. I remembered that feeling of a physical hole in my heart and the loss. It was awful, which is an understatement.

I continued to sift through emails, through the summer of 2007. Soon they were filled with more hope, less sorrow and irritation. Suddenly another person showed up in my life, someone who had been special to me years before in high school. It started out friendly, and once again, disappointment and sadness hit. I saw everyone struggling around me and it weighed heavily on me. I kept reaching out for friendship and always got my hand slapped. I don't think I was reaching out in the right way. Relationships with loved ones were and became more difficult.

And then I saw that I was emailing my oldest sister a lot. We were talking about life, about the Gospel and church, about feelings about the future. It meant and still means so much to me. She came to Colorado to go with me to a pioneer trek and it was an amazing and fun experience to have her there with me during that time in my life.

Then the fall of 2007 hit. My mom came next to visit me in Colorado, wanted to see family landmarks while she was there. I remembered having decided at that time that I was done with dating--it hurt too bad and it wasn't what I wanted my life to center around. I wasn't very happy, so I told Heavenly Father that I was going to focus on Him and be good, and that was all that would matter.

I was grumpy during my mom's visit (sorry Mom). I was tired one day, and it happened to be on the day that we were heading to visit Erie, the Garden of the Gods, and then a friend of my mom's who lived in Colorado Springs.

Eventually when we got to Colorado Springs, I was done. It was 8 p.m., I didn't care to be there just because it had been a long day and I knew this wouldn't be a short trip. We were there until the very early hours. And it turns out I was loving it. I had never laughed so hard in my life than during that night. And yes, these are pictures from that night--at 3:30 a.m.! We ended up spending the night because it was so ridiculously late.

I kept reading through emails between my then-engaged oldest sister and my mom; I loved being with this family on the weekends. It was a breath of fresh air to be around them when I had been feeling so alone and weary emotionally; and next thing I knew I was falling hard for someone. Little did I know that Heavenly Father had been preparing me for one of my greatest blessings in this life: my husband. Wow, it was amazing reading my emails about Niklas. It was so funny and so sweet. I had that high from being in love with a wonderful man.

After reading this little snippet in my life, I realized that God had been there guiding my life the whole time. I didn't realize how much He was there supporting me, giving me those hard experiences to influence and to grow. Grudges and emotional battles I had been praying about have been lifted in abundance, without me even realizing it. I couldn't believe how much I had grown from those experiences. I caught a glimpse of how Heavenly Father sees me: a daughter who is learning and striving, not a mistake-ridden ball of insecurity as I would often see myself. I really felt His love for me and gratitude filled my whole soul.

I just had to share. It made me realize I need to save all of these emails; the good, the bad, the ugly for myself. I learned so much from my past; and I know you can too. :)

Mmmmm...

2010-05-05T15:36:00.003-06:00

What happens when you put chocolate chip oatmeal cookies of massive proportions in close proximity to a Starving Karen?

Happy Retirement Day, Dad!

2010-04-29T19:57:00.005-06:00

I can't believe you're finally retired as of today, Dad! Thank you for supporting all of us throughout our lives. I love how hardworking and service-oriented you are, and I hope to live up to your example. I am so grateful to have you for my father here on earth. I hope you find joy in your retirement, and I look forward to many more cherished talks and memories with you. Thank you for all that you've done for me (which is so, so much). I love you, Dad!

25 Things About Me, #8-11

2010-04-28T12:51:00.007-06:00

So of course I did homework during most of my lunch break and now I am trying to scarf down the rest of my lunch before my break is up. Anyway, moving on...

8) I prefer cats over dogs. When I was in kindergarten, my mom found a pregnant stray female cat around our area and tamed her. She gave birth to 3 kittens who were loved for years (they are all now passed on). My favorite kitten was Tawny, who I remember calling, "The One With the Orange Spot on Her Head." She was a nervous-tempered cat---but she was also so sweet. I really loved her. And random: I loved cats so much when I was little that I actually kissed a stray one's face that was on our deck one time. Of course the cat clawed my face, and I got an infection under my right eye that was a little serious for a while. I think I have a scar from it still (unless it's a chicken pox mark under my eye I'm seeing). (By the way, the orange cat was another addition to our family soon after the kittens were born, NOT the mother cat. :) )

9) I have to have plans to feel secure. I can't live life by the seat of my pants. I have to know what's going on and what to expect; to the best of my ability, anyway. If I don't get enough information from others for what I need to plan, I get stressed and irritated (Niklas will attest full-heartedly). I actually get anxiety if there is no plan for big life decisions or events that affect me. Niklas says it's a controlling issue; I call it a passion for preparedness.

10) I broke my younger sister's (Lynda's) arm. I had a brilliant idea during my grade school years that my sister and I should bungy-cord our bikes together, mine in front of hers, and ride around the neighborhood. Let's just say it ended with my sister crashing from the sporadic pulling movements. When she said her arm hurt after, I told her to put it into a mud puddle to make it feel better (don't ask me where the logic was in that). Later, I found out from my not-happy parents that her arm was broken. Whoops...sorry.

11) I made my oldest sister (Kristine) crash on her bike while we were riding together (doing a paper route?) by poking her in the butt with a stick. Once again, don't ask me where the logic came in this. She ended up going out of control from surprise and wrecked her bike. I think it took me a while to figure out that my bright ideas really weren't that great. Once again, oops...sorry.

That's all for today. Isn't this fun? ;)

25 Things About Me...To Be Cont'd!

2010-04-27T12:05:00.013-06:00

My boss came in a few minutes ago and said he had a gift for me:

Yes, it's a pile of pistachio shells. Whoo-hoo. For all I know he could have been slobbering all over them before plopping them on my workpapers. My boss is one generous man.

Anyway, that's not what I am focusing on for this post. A few of my family members did a "25 Things About Me" list a long time ago, and I want to do one also. Of course, all 25 things won't be in one post since I only have 30 min. left of lunch break. (Yes, I should be doing homework but what's wrong with a little distraction?)

1) I absolutely love chocolate. This a "duh" one for most, but hey, for those who don't know, now you do. I don't know when this crazy craving entered my life, but ever since I remember it's been my #1 weakness in the food department. (Hey, it comes from a bean--it's food.) I'm one of those who will eat chocolate cake and cookies for breakfast and/or dinner if they are around. I just can't get enough.

2) I still blush really easily, and half the time I don't even know why. I thought this trait would go away by the time I was this age, but no, it's apparently around for life. It wouldn't bother me so much if it didn't happen ALL THE TIME at work. I blush even more when I realize I'm blushing for no reason, which only compounds my embarrassment. I can blush at simply a co-worker talking to me about work-related stuff. I blame my inward shyness that has never gone away. Some say it's cute; I find it mortifying.

(Notice the blushing cheeks, even at 3 years old!)

3) I have bad eye sight (thus the contacts), but I've never had a cavity in my life. I never had any wisdom teeth come in either--maybe that's a bad thing. :P

4) I have lots of insecurities that mostly evolve around self-consciousness and body image. I'll give you a self-expanatory picture:

Yes, I'm the one with window-panes on my face, as Niklas likes to call them. I remember not being self-conscious when I was really little, but like every other kid, I was made fun of at school, and never had a ton of friends because I was so shy. I'm still working on these self-image issues, but it bothers me that the past still affects me so much.

5) I got into a fender-bender when I was in high school. My then-boyfriend was making fun of my driving, jerking forward each time I put my foot on the brake (although I wasn't braking hard at all). We were sitting in a crawling line waiting for our turn to get onto the Bangor military base in WA. I decided to show him what it felt like when I really did brake hard. So I did---except that I hit the wrong pedal. I smashed into the car in front of us, which happily consisted of parents and their two little children. I felt HORRIBLE, and was bawling while the parents both yelled at me in anger. The protective bubble I always felt around any car quickly burst.

6) I have a reactive personality, which means that I get teased. A lot. This is usually okay, since I realize it's all in good fun, but somedays I'm really not in the mood and just want a break from it all. You would too!

7) I love music and to sing. I hated opera and classical music as a kid and now I love it all! I also like the Beatles and other oldies, plus different selections of modern music. I wish I could play the piano, but cannot; and I wish that I had the guts to take voice lessons. Regardless, I was always singing around the house as a child up until I left home for college (in which time my mom told me she missed it). Years ago, when I was in Young Women's at church, I had to have my mom share a story about me. The one she chose was a day that she had been sick in bed when I was in grade school. After getting home from school, I came into her room and told her that I had learned a new song that I wanted to sing for her (which I did). Although I don't remember doing this or what song it was, it really touched my mom.

That's all I have time for today!

Niklas and his Man-Crushes

2010-03-29T12:33:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was an awesome day; actually, every Sunday seems to be an awesome day. I used to hate Sundays as a kid because it meant no playing outside all day, wearing a dress, and then sitting in church for three hours where I was bored to death. By junior high this mentality turned around and I now love, love, love the Sabbath day.

Since it is General Conference on the first Sunday of April, yesterday was a fast Sunday. I admit, I never look forward to fast Sundays; and then I'm always pleasantly surprised despite my protesting stomach at the increased spirit I feel when I'm in the church meetings. So then I realize what a murmerer I am. {:B

To give some background information before I give my little story: Niklas was called to be the Ward Clerk in a single's ward on campus, and I was called to teach Temple Prep in th same ward. So each Sunday we attend with the singles and sit in the back of the chapel during Sacrament Meeting by ourselves. (Because being married means you have a plague, I guess. ;) ) I hadn't gone up to bear my testimony in a long time, simply because I hadn't felt the need to do it, and I also didn't want to take up the single folks' time. But inevitably, as it was the last Sunday that the ward would meet before the Spring semester, my heart started beating fast, I was getting nervous---and I knew it meant I had to get up. So I did. And eventually I was the last one on the stand waiting to speak. My turn came, I spoke as much as I could (emotions always get the best of me nowadays), and then as I stepped down there was a row of people coming up. And Niklas was one of them.

When it was Niklas' turn at the microphone, he began by saying that he had already exposed his "nerdom" to the ward, so he mentioned that he was learning a lot of things from this Themes in Literature class he's taking about....super heroes. He brings up that he got to dress up as Superman this last week for the class, etc. Next thing, he says that he has a Superman comic book from the class that he wants to read an excerpt from because it reveals how Superman was like a type of Jesus Christ. Everyone has been laughing quietly, and I see in front of me, slowly turning his head, one of the guys in the ward who had attended my Temple Prep class this semester. And he gives me this look while grinning from ear-to-ear as if to say, "Is he serious?" And I just nod my head, grinning back to communicate, "OH yes." I mean, Nikas is the guy who likens the Gospel to Star Wars and brings his interests (more like obsessions) into his lessons when he teaches at church (though he's not the first to come up with that). All in all, Niklas likes to entertain people, and he is really taken with super heroes because of what they stand for, so I wasn't that surprised. He eventually bore his testimony which did make me feel relieved because I started worrying whether he was going to just go off about the comic book. :P

Anyway, the rest of Sunday was nice. A gal told me that she missed my class (it's over as of last Sunday until next semester), and then we were invited to dinner by our friends the Beck's who we hadn't hung out with in so long. And then...we watched "New Moon." I don't normally watch movies on Sundays, but I did so since we were with friends and we all hadn't seen it. There was a peanut gallery going on while watching it, and then Niklas and I analyzed it and the books afterwards. I'm not a Twilight fan; I liked it for a bit and then it just died. I wanted to like it, but it was just too physical and dramatic for me. But what cracks me up is that Niklas always complains about it and the girls who swoon over it; and yet, he is so intrigued by the whole wolverine and vampire "culture" in the books. As much as he complains, I saw him engrossed in a "New Moon" interview clip on a TV at WalMart while I was picking up some sewing thread. ;)

And side note, the weather is warming up! We had a beautiful Saturday and I told Niklas we had to go outside otherwise it would be such a waste of a day. So we went to Porter Park and threw a frisbee back and forth for a while. It was a lot of fun just being outside, but my arm hurts now. How pathetic is that?! :P

Happy Easter to all!!

America, America...

2010-03-26T12:39:00.009-06:00

I was just reading my sister's live journal comments regarding the healthcare bill that had been passed...and while I'm not crazy about politics (although I like hearing people's opinions--kind of paradoxal), it's always sad to me how mean people choose to be to each other when sharing differing political views. What's the point in getting nasty if someone doesn't agree with you?

I happen to be married to my, almost, complete opposite. As you can imagine, there are LOTS of things that we don't agree on. And I do get heated about certain things---just ask Niklas. ;) But I've been learning that that doesn't mean I have to likewise take on a nasty tone or attitude with him just because he sees things differently. (And vice versa--we are both still learning this. :P) Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but that doesn't mean that others have to agree with you. So in short, all I'm saying is that show courtesy to others despite how they feel on a given subject. Hostility and poking fun at others has become acceptable behavior in the world and I don't see it doing anything good for anyone.

To add to that, I'm finding that I'm having a hard time in general feeling proud of our society, which has skewed priorities and morality as time has gone on. Sometimes it seems that the silliest things are fought and debated over, causing media-drama when in reality its not a life-or-death issue. I think we've lost the vision that the founding fathers had of what America was to be. Government itself is not the enemy, as many citizens have had a hand in shaping it to the way it is now. Among other things, I see America suffering from selfishness, levity, and greed. And all of us, me included, have these struggles to a degree. But I guess instead of me and others complaining about all the woes, we should instead focus on doing our part to make it a better place for everybody, and focus on the good. (Easier said than done, I realize, but it would make such a difference.) So despite my frustrations and its faults, I am glad that I live in America.

"Ode" to Utah

2010-02-22T15:14:00.005-07:00

Congrats, Utah. You've just earned an all-time low score in my book. So many people have told me for years how superficial you are by their opinions and experiences, and I've always tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, saying that there are still good people there...somewhere. Disregard the lip-suction billboards that I haven't seen anywhere else; or the tales of young folks getting married in Vegas (to make it legit & moral, of course) just to have sex and then get a divorce shortly thereafter; or even the fact that my sister who lived there said she felt like she was doing something wrong going out in public without makeup on (the horror!).

But FP?? I had never heard of this term until I read my brother-in-law's cousin's blog (which I love; I'm a total blog stalker) about it. Fat Potential. And the fact that some guys actually take this into account when dating girls. Perhaps it's all a joke...but I really doubt it given the history.

All I have to say is this: I VOW that I will raise my boys better. If they even go off on how someone looks in a superficial way I will (theoretically) smack them in the head. Of all the guys out there to be so shallow, how did it end up being the LDS ones?? Someone care to explain it to me? Cause last time I checked, our religion teaches to follow the example of Christ, who looked in the heart of people and not just judge by their shell. Amazing.

I felt for a long time that I should have gone to BYU instead of BYU-I, simply because it had the reputation of being a better school. But after years of hearing how it really is and seeing it for myself, I am so glad I went to little ol' BYU-I. I would have wanted to shrivel up and die to be subjected to such a population of super-model/Barbie wannabes.

I still have hope that there are some genuine, non-shallow folks in Utah. But I am slowly losing faith. And I'm sure I'll feel bad about posting this later; but I can't hold it in right now. ARGH!!

Uh...Okay....

2010-02-15T09:06:00.007-07:00

You know your husband is really obsessed with Star Wars when you actually dream that Storm Troopers are swarming around your parents' home to raid it.

A Bit of This and That

2010-02-14T12:22:00.003-07:00

So I'm sitting here on our couch waiting to leave for church...and have about 40 minutes. I have nothing exciting to report, just writing for the sake of writing.

Because some may be wondering, Niklas hasn't had any other heart episodes since his second catheter ablation done on his heart Dec. 1, 2009. We will fully believe it is gone once a few more months to a year have gone by, but I for one am feeling pretty positive about it all. Unfortunately, Niklas has been suffering from some severe headaches frequently and upset stomach since the second surgery. I tell him he should get himself into a doctor soon to see if anything is up. And something else unexpected: he actually is mentioning that he should probably get his eyes tested since his vision isn't as clear as it used to be. Talk about a shock to me! He's always been the one talking about having 20/20 vision which I have always been envious of since I was born with bad vision (wear contacts). Plus he has some cavities he needs to get filled...looks like lots of doctor appointments in his future. :)

All in all, things are going well on our end. I am still working in Idaho Falls and doing my online Master's program (will graduate May 2011) while Niklas continues to work towards his undergraduate degree in English. We were thinking of moving out of our apartment recently for a change in scenery, but after looking at a very humble basement apartment yesterday...we changed our minds. I don't mind staying put in our apt. for another year+ simply because the thought of moving while being in school makes me a bit stressed.

And one of our very small dilemmas: we've been thinking of getting a new digital camera with some of our tax return money this year, but have no idea what kind. Probably not an SLR since I am no photographer, but we want something that can take nice pictures and some video to capture memories. We'll be scanning the cameras at Best Buy this weekend to see what is out there along with some much-needed grocery shopping. If anyone has any recommendations, please let me know.

And that's our life right now: plugging away at work, school, and accumulating some savings. It would be an understatement for me to say that I am looking forward to having a family someday. It seems like everyone is having babies (well, mostly at work) and let's just say that I would LOVE to jump on the bandwagon in this instance. But my practical side has taken precedence, so instead of recklessly plunging in, I'm planning, planning, planning for the future. I've decided that even though I am an accountant, I hate money. How do people even afford to have children at all, or to buy a house?? It boggles my accountant brain; but underneath the boggled mass I also know that things seem to work out in the long-run, especially when we are doing all we can to help it work out. So instead of facing that financial/secular mountain and focusing on the summit, I should instead focus on reaching one height at a time; the progression.

And that goes for life, too. My mom has always told me that I often wish my life away; as in, always wanting to fast-forward to a future time in my life. And she's partially right, except that I know that if I had my wish and fast-forwarded my life to when I had children...oh, how much learning and joy I would miss in the journey to that particular spot. Thank goodness I had the time I did to grow individually before being married to my wonderful Niklas! I've always felt like a late-bloomer in my life: that I was always behind in some way. And even now, as odd as it is and probably not 100% true, I still feel often that I really don't belong in my generation. I have no other thoughts to compare mine too, but I am always thinking about life, the people in it, how God affects everything, about the future and our children, about my own weaknesses and emotional battles. I also think a lot about money; not because I love it, but how to best utilize and manage it for the future.

For now I am in the present and will continue to enjoy this time I have with just Niklas and I. It is nice to have some time to work out the quirks in your marriage and become more as one instead of constantly fighting against the other because they are not you. :) We have a long way to go...but we have made progress, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what matters as long as it is on-going and doesn't cease.

So for a while yet I will continue to work away at school and work, and bear all the loving-kindness my boss bestows on me through his actions and speech, such as smacking me in the head with a miniature sticky pad and frequently telling me that I am "a freak." ;)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

2009-12-13T11:23:00.013-07:00

I absolutely LOVE Christmas season! I love the warmth of spirit that's around and the feeling of "magic" in the air. I love seeing the Christmas lights on houses and manger scenes on the lawns. Although I hate the cold, I love how beautiful everything looks under a blanket of white. I used to love to play in that blanket; but as I've gotten older it's lost its charm, simply because I practically go into hypothermia. I prefer walking in it more than anything else. I love this time of year because it is in celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, an event that has changed my life and others' forever and ever and ever. I am filled with reverence, awe, and love as I reflect on the humble birth of our Savior and His ministry. I would be nothing without Him.

And I also find that every Christmas time I reflect back on Christmas as a child. Almost all day yesterday, while sitting in front of this laptop working on a school project, Niklas and I had the classic Christmas specials on in the background. Those shiny, claymation ones with "Frosty the Snowman," "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," "The Year Without Santa Claus," "Jack Frost," etc. I will never be too old to watch those. I adore them! It doesn't feel like Christmas completely until I'm able to watch those old Christmas shows. I think Christmas time is the one season that keeps me connected to my childhood the most. For instance, some memories of past Christmas days:

1) Playing with my "Beauty and the Beast" toys from Burger King in the Christmas tree. (I had to pull up a chair to the tree to be able to reach higher as my make-beleive story went on.) The tree, with all of its bulbs, lights, ornaments, and garland, was supposed to be the Beast's castle. And Belle would walk on the garland spiraling up the tree, spotting all of the magnificent wonders of the castle, and occasionally coming upon a drinking fountain (bulb ornaments that had an indentation in them...I don't know how to describe them; I just know they were really pretty). There was also this old nutcracker ornament that had belonged to my sister Kristine. He was the bad guy in my story--he gave the Beast some poison at some point, maybe because he wanted Belle? The poison was a burnt-out red light from the Christmas tree. I had such dramatic stories... :P My mom wasn't so keen on me playing in the tree for fear I would break an ornament (and I don't blame her), but I'm really glad she let me anyway. Those are some of my most fond memories as a kid.

2) I broke an ornament one year on accident. I believe it was in the shape of an instrument like a violin, and I knew I would get into trouble with my mom. So I turned to my kid sister, Lynda, and said, "Lynda, I'm going to tell Mom that you broke it." And before she had time to respond, I immediately called for Mom and told her my lie. I don't think I got away with it. Lynda was old enough to protest against me. And I don't know why I always remember that, but I always feel bad about how I treated Lynda as a child, and I'm still trying to make up for it. (Merry Christmas, Lynda! ~sheepish grin~)

3) I used to love sleeping next to the Christmas tree. I wanted to be near it all the time because I found it so magical and beautiful. I loved the warm glow of the lights when everywhere else was dark. Not sure if I actually got away with sleeping next to it all night, though!

4) I remember believing in Santa Claus and having my best friend, Alicia, tell me that he didn't exist. I was alarmed but my older sister Diane stood up (literally) and declared that she knew that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny (and maybe even the Tooth Fairy) existed. I then backed Diane up. I think I find it funny now because of how dramatic the atmosphere of it all was to me as a child, and the fact that Alicia was so right and we were dead wrong! I guess neither Diane or I wanted to give up our childhood beliefs yet; and I'm sure our parents hadn't let on yet as well. (I have no idea how old we were at the time.)

5) Every year I would follow my oldest sister Kristine's example and poke, prod, shake, and feel-over all of my Christmas presents to try to figure out what it was inside. This also drove my mom nuts. One specific year I had asked for a play tea set that was "magical:" when you put warm water on the knives and biscuits, jam would appear, and the tea cups would change to a different shade. I knew there was no such thing as Santa Claus at this point; and I'm not sure if I was snooping or not, but I stumbled across a large black garbage bag one day (before Christmas) in the basement. I peeked inside...and saw a box with pictures of my dream tea set on it! I was so thrilled!! Then guilt rose up in me for seeing it. I told my mom later and she was not happy with me. I'm surprised now that I even told her but I'm glad I did anyway. What's funny now is that I don't dare touch any of my presents. I don't want to know what's in them since I want it to be a surprise. Even my presents under our squatty tree are, at this instance, untouched by my hands, and will remain that way until Christmas day. I finally learned that the anticipation of not knowing is one of the best things about Christmas presents. :)

6) Every Christmas Eve (also my birthday), my mom would hold a Christmas feast and invite over some of our relatives. After being all together and stuffing ourselves with the feast and pie, us kids would mosey on over to the living room and start playing video games together while the grown-ups continued to linger at the dinner table chatting. I still have this longing every Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Christmas day to play video games with family. The last few years I would rent a Harry Potter game for my birthday and play while my sisters would watch me. Even though one would be playing at a time, we'd all be engaged and laughing at some of the cheesy/funny sayings in the game, etc. I miss those times now since it was practically like our little tradition, so I have Niklas play with me instead when we aren't with my family during the holidays.

I love Christmas memories! I also decided recently to sew stockings for Niklas and I, and for each of our children as they come. Here is my stocking that I finished a couple weeks back. Niklas will be painting my name across the cuff and we'll be adding some buttons.

Niklas' stocking will be the same only with a green contrasting toe and heel, and a green cuff. I'm hoping to get his done before Christmas, but I think I'll succeed.

Also, here are some pictures left on our camera taken a lot earlier this year that I didn't realize were on there until now.They are mostly pictures of us being silly, so...enjoy or be appalled, I guess. :P I can't explain the weird model ones...but I know it makes me laugh because it is SOOO ridiculous looking!! I hate how dramatic models look or actors act in movies---it's so fake and corny in real life. Seriously.

I had gotten some boots and thought I could look like an old-fashioned pilot...

Nothing says Masculine like a Chocoholick apron. That's right.

Look~ it's a real smile and pose!! ;)

Wolverine look-alike?

"Why are you still taking pictures of me?...I'm done play-acting and brushing my teeth. Nothing to see here..."

One last thing. Niklas did have a second heart surgery on December 1st and he is doing great at this point. We are hoping that this takes care of his problem completely but only time will tell. I'm really glad he went through the surgery a second time. I love you, Niklas! Everything else is going alright in our lives. We're both pretty busy with work and school. And it hasn't been a horrible year, but I'll be glad to leave this one behind us since it was filled with a lot of stress.

Merry Christmas to you all and a happy new year, even though they are still a few weeks away. May God bless you all!

A Small Tribute to Halloween Past...

2009-10-30T12:24:00.009-06:00

I used to look forward to Halloween each year because I could dress up and get lots of free candy! I mean what kid doesn't enjoy that? But it seems the older I get, the less charm Halloween has for me. I'm hoping that when I have kids someday, I'll be able to enjoy it more through their enthusiastic and mystical outlook. But for now, here are some pictures as a tribute to the far distant days of Halloween eagerness and magic.

My second brother, Robert, sporting his custom-made Ghostbusters outfit for one Halloween (1989?). Talk about awesome!

My sister Diane and I before heading out to go trick-or-treating. This may have been taken the same time as Robert's ghostbusting picture. I was Raggedy-Ann and Diane was the fairy godmother. As you'll see, we Miller kids rotated through the Halloween costumes on hand. :) But look at the chubby excitement on my face! I knew I'd be getting lots of chocolate. However, if I recall right, I think this was the year that my dad drove us around in our large Chevy van to trick-or-treat from house to house. The side door of the van was left open for easier maneuvering as we jumped out to trick-or-treat and jumped back in to move on to the next house. At one point I jumped with impatient glee out of the side door while the van was still moving, and fell down on the road. Next thing I knew the back right van tire was running over my foot/ankle, and then resting there until my mom and dad realized what had happened. or what I had done. Not one of my finer moments, but I didn't have any broken bones, thankfully.

Yay, this picture of me is what Niklas remembers me looking like as a little girl when he lived in Washington. This year I was the fairy godmother, Lynda (youngest sister) was the cute lil' devil, and Diane took the witch role. Again, see the excitement to trick-or-treat! (Or maybe this was afterwards?)

This is an instance of "Pumpkin Love" by yours truly and my sister Diane.

I was wondering when I saw this picture: do I look any different, as in older?? These were taken by my mom before Halloween of 2002 (in case you missed the glaring picture label), the year I graduated from high school. I was baking up a storm for the Trunk-or-Treat at our church, and I remember being grumpy when my mom took these pictures... I can't believe how many goodies I made!! I was so painstakingly perfectionistic about it too. My flare for baking has ebbed a bit, but I still find enjoyment and sometimes satisfaction in creating baked goods and CHOCOLATE desserts!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! <----Also the colors for my high school...what and WHY??

My Third Nephew has Arrived!!

2009-09-25T08:35:00.011-06:00

(Kristine and Alex Booth at the hospital this morning, I believe...)

Kristine had her baby boy this morning at 4:51 a.m. Robert Alexander Booth is 8 lbs. 5 oz., 20 inches long, and doing very well. Just look at his cute old man face! :D

I just talked to Kristine a few minutes ago and she sounded very tired but very happy. I can only imagine how surreal it is holding a baby in your arms and knowing that you're its mother. I am so excited/happy for her and Alex, and I can't wait to see the little guy mid-October when we go down to Utah for Niklas' follow-up appointment. (Excited/happy is really an understatement for me. I keep having to hold back tears because I'm so happy and touched. I blame the stupid birth control pills....partially.) More pics sure to come in the future of little Robert. :)

Jinxed

2009-09-14T08:18:00.002-06:00

So after Niklas had had his surgery almost two weeks ago, the doctors told us that there was always a chance that there could be another electrical pathway that could become "active" once the other extra one was destroyed...and it looks like Niklas fits into that lucky category.

Last night after he had barely gone to bed, Niklas' heart went into another episode. It was a horrible disappointment for both of us, but there is always hope. He's going to call the doctor today and see when they can get him in again for a second surgery. I'm just wondering how many of these buggy pathways he has in his heart... : /

Anyway, I figured I must have jinxed the situation with my post yesterday talking about the success of the surgery. Guess I should keep my mouth shut!

I Plead Being Busy...Yeah.

2009-09-13T12:04:00.012-06:00

I'm sitting in the Taylor building on BYU-I's campus waiting for Niklas to get out of his bishopric meeting, so I figured instead of enlightening my mind through scripture study, I should finally give a little update of how we've been. ;) I'm not very good at blogging---I know, THAT thought never crossed your mind, did it?

A lot has been going on in our lives recently, but it's finally coming to a more relaxed pace. Sorta.

I ran a half-marathon (Top of Utah) in Logan, Utah on August 29th, and it was a blast! A half is 13.1 miles, and the actual race was much more fun than the 3-month training. I ran it with my former running companion from WA, and it was fun to chat while we began the race. (The chatting stopped about half-way through---it started getting hard for me.) The funny thing is she was nervous the night before that she hadn't trained enough, etc. But during the actual race, she was the one encouraging me to speed it up a bit by her pacing! :) We ended up running it faster than what we had trained at, and I was thrilled about that. It was a great accomplishment for me and I want to run it again next year. But probably never a full marathon---my knees can only take so much.

A few days later after my race, Niklas had a surgery done on his heart to fix his Wolfe-Parkinson-White Syndrome, which is basically having an extra electrical pathway in the heart that throws off the normal electrical cycle at times, causing rapid palpitations---at any time. There was always a chance that Niklas' heart would act up while he worked out or even when just sitting or laying down. It was problematic, and I think held him back from being more active, etc. Plus, there was a very rare chance that he could die suddenly from the arrhythmia; and I'd rather NOT be a widow any time soon, or later for that matter! So we scheduled a catheter ablation (burning basically) at the U of U hospital and the surgery was a success. They were able to find the area of the extra pathway causing the problem and obliterate it through burning. You can imagine our relief, especially Niklas'. :) I feel very blessed that he was able to get this surgery done and that he won't have to worry about his heart causing issues anymore.

Niklas is doing very well and is mostly recovered. He still has some nasty bruising on a leg where they put a couple catheters in, but other than that he feels great. During the surgery and after we stayed with my sister Kristine in Provo, and it was great to see and Alex right before their little boy comes. I am so excited!!! She is due September 20th and she is so ready to be done with the pregnancy. More often than not Kristine has told me, "Just wait until it's YOU...!" And then I find myself hoping that I won't be hit with the sickness curse that she suffered...but time will tell. (No, I am not pregnant, and won't be for a while yet.)

I've also started an online Master of Science in Accounting through Liberty University, and began classes August 24th. Each course is 8 weeks long, and I'm hoping to be graduated by May 2011. I just had this sudden desire to continue my education recently, so I went for it. So now I head to work, come home and work on my class. It's actually a baptist university...so that's been interesting. I'm a total black sheep, but I'm okay with that since it was more affordable. But it's opening up my eyes to how others my interpret the Bible. Maybe I'll share some of the case studies on here sometime...

Also, Niklas started fall classes this last week, plus got offered a job at Kohls in Idaho Falls and will be starting that this week. I am so happy about the extra income! So all in all we will both be in the same boat with working and attending school. Which equals busy, busy, busy.

That's all I have for now, but here are some old pics of Niklas and I back from October 2008. I was taking pics of us in our kitchen.

I think I was trying to get the timed shots set up in this pic.

This one cracks me up. I guess it's because you can't see my full face and Niklas looks less than thrilled with the up close shot.

This last pic of Niklas is him sporting the intensive Morning Hair. I mean, it takes a full 8-9 hours for this look.

When that work whistle just isn't blowing...

2009-03-24T11:10:00.008-06:00

So you probably think that I am a total slacker, writing on my blog while I am at work, and I would agree with you, if it wasn't due to not having a single thing to do right now. I've done all the work I can and now I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs and not feeling so good about it. I would take a crazy, super busy day any day than these super-slow nothing-to-do days that go by in super slow motion. I IMed my boss to ask if he would send any other work my way, and I haven't heard anything out of him. I'll pester him again soon.

Here's an update on what's been going on: me--working, sleeping, eating tons of chocolate, craving dairy all the time, reading "Northanger Abbey" by Jane Austen, teaching Temple Prep at church, playing a little Wii, and still being tired all the time. Niklas--going to school, doing homework, sleeping, eating, playing a little bit of Wii, and reading Star Wars books, among other types of books, and still being tired all the time.

We did get the pleasure of seeing Diane and Nolan this weekend, our respective siblings. We all ate out at Original Thai this last Friday night and it was sooo good. I love love LOVE Thai curry, and I LOVE it hot. My only complaint with Thai restaurants is that the waitstaff never believes me when I say that I want it really hot. One Thai place in Idaho Falls I ordered the level 5 "Thermo-Nuclear" spicy hotness when eating lunch with my boss and a co-worker, and they were surprised. Then I got to be the one surprised and disappointed when my dish contained not even a hint of flame. However, this last Friday it was different. I told the waitress as usual that I wanted it really hot---"I like it when my nose is running." And when the yummy red curry came out, it was actually spicy! My nose did run a bit, and I enjoyed every single hot bite. Not sure how this spicy-loving trait came into being in me, but I'm not the only one in the family that has it. :) Niklas likes hot, spicy dishes also, but not quite as much as me.

Last Saturday Nolan, Niklas and I headed out to shop at the small mall in Idaho Falls and found a few pieces of clothing. Of course, I'm still not satisfied in the clothes department so a little more shopping each month will be had.

For future news, there is a lot going on. In April Niklas' mom and dad and sister Jacqueline will be coming up to Rexburg for the latter to attend school this summer, and that should be fun to see them. Jacqueline just got off her mission at the beginning of this month from Ohio, and we haven't seen the Skinner parents since we were both married last May. The one-year anniversary is coming up--oh my!

In May, during our one-year anniversary weekend, Niklas and I will be flying into Washington thanks to our Miller parents. :) I'm really excited for the trip and plan on hitting Seattle on the Saturday we are there. I also am looking forward to seeing family that I haven't seen since...Christmas of 2007 I think! That's an amazingly long time.

In June Niklas' sister Jennifer and her family will be stopping by our humble abode in Rexburg to see us while on a trip. I also haven't seen them for quite a long time also. Also in June Kristine, Alex, Niklas, and I will be driving over to Portland, Oregon for a good family friend's wedding. Although this trip will also only last the weekend, and will consist of almost 24 hours total stuck in a car, it will be so nice to take a trip and see more friends and family again.

And my sister Lynda is graduating from college at the beginning of May! It's so crazy that 4 years have gone by already, but I'm sure that Lynda is super ready for it. :)

As a side note, Niklas and our friend Bill have been taking a British Literature, etc. class together this semester, and last night as Bill's wife Linda and I played "Cooking Mama" on the Wii, they were putting together a "Flampoyntes Pie," (basically Flame Points) which is a medieval recipe consisting of shredded pork and provolone cheese in a pie---and then some of the pie crust dough is cut into triangles, fried, and then put inside the pie, the points sticking out of the top crust. I believe when it was baked back in the day the points in the crust would catch on fire, hence the name. Bill and Niklas made this for the Medieval potluck they were having today in class, and Linda and I agreed that it was one of the nastiest recipes we've ever heard of. Niklas explained that someone was going to make something for the potluck that consisted of grains, etc. cooked inside a sheep's (?) stomach, and that he was going to eat some, as he has had some before; and then he and Bill went on trying to convince Linda and I that it was "just like a sausage casing." I think I wanted to hurl just thinking about it; and I've decided that this man I married ("I am a medieval man...!") really belongs in the Dark Ages while I should have been born during the 1800's in England. Who knows how two such beings could have connected.

Niklas right this minute just sent me an IM:

skinnerman02: Our Pie was Awesome! Quite the hit as well

Karen Skinner: Great! did you eat the sheep stomach or whatever it was?

skinnerman02: lol, Haggis

skinnerman02: and you dont actually eat the stomach

skinnerman02: you just cook everything else in it

skinnerman02: but yes, I did

skinnerman02: I thought it was alright, but I forgot to eat it with the turnips, which is how it's supposed to be done

skinnerman02: but it was WAY different than the sausage type thing

skinnerman02: this was much nastier looking

skinnerman02: none of the people who made it liked it

skinnerman02: I brought home the left overs of the flampoyntes though (our pie), so you could try a tiny bit

skinnerman02: It'd make me happy if you tried some

Karen Skinner: I guess I can try a little bit. Don't expect me to kiss you today...

skinnerman02: I've rinsed my mouth out

skinnerman02: saw that coming

I thought you'd appreciate a visual of this wondrous dish. So there you have it. Haggis is not like sausage, and if you expect a kiss from your spouse, don't eat it.

Valentine's Weekend

2009-02-15T16:34:00.009-07:00

It's been a month since I last posted and since I'm not really doing anything productive, I figure now is the best time to finally break the ice. Basically the only exciting news has been that we finally got a Wii which I have loved so far. Diane, my older sister, wanted to visit our oldest sister in Utah this weekend so we are currently at Kristine & Alex's house, planning to leave in an hour or so. It was nice to come down again after not seeing them for a few months.

We got our tax return money just this past Friday, and I now have possesssion of a dream that I've wanted for the last few years but couldn't bring myself to purchase when I knew that I really didn't need it... A KichenAid mixer!! I know that a ton of people have one at this point, but that doesn't change the novelty for me. :) I love to bake (which is actually a really bad thing when you worry about eating healthy to a point) and this will hopefully make it a ton easier to mix all that batter up. Speaking of batter, am I the only one married to a man who refuses to eat any kind of batter because of the raw eggs? I guess I'm living dangerously but I seriously think that the batter tastes a ton better than the actual end product. I used to make a small batch of cookie dough and eat it just like that. :P Totally bad I know, but I still do it on a rare occassion. You just can't beat raw dough sometimes!

Another purchase we made this weekend was the Wii Fit, which I already love! I really am intrigued with Yoga right now and they have all kinds of strength exercises and stretches that you can do right in your own home. I can run on a treadmill and lift weights (to a point) in a room full of other people, but I would never join an exercise class at the gym; not a fan of doing any kind of workouts that require coordination in front of a bunch of people, and for good reason---just found out from doing the Wii Fit balance exercises that I have awful balance. So my periodic clutziness makes sense now. :P

All in all, Niklas and are doing fine and no, we didn't do anything for Valentine's Day since we were coming down to Utah and planning on spending a lot of money. But also, Niklas is one of the V-day haters out there, since he says that you should be doing things to show your loved one how you feel year round, and that it's like you're obligated to do something; and if you don't...well, every woman's punishment is different. However, how do you feel about this? I don't view Valentine's Day as a replacement for the rest of the year, but as a special day set aside for all the good feelings you have for your spouse, etc I mean, we deal with the negative feelings we have for eachother all year round, so what's so bad about a day that allows you to think about all the good things you love about your spouse, etc.?? It's like any other holiday, such as Thanksgiving or Christmas. We should always be grateful for what we have in life and for our Savior and His role in this world. But there is a special day set aside to celebrate each, to put special emphasis on the importance of the principle or person. This is why I like holidays, including Valentine's Day; it's really all a matter of your perspective on it. And it's not like you have to spend money to do something special for your loved one.

Anyway, I'm done going on about that. I hope everyone is doing fantastic in life and had a great weekend. By the way, Kristine is pregnant and we are all so excited! She's been sick a lot this weekend, unfortunately, but I hope it gets better for her as the next few weeks go by.

Bye for now!

We're Alive!

2009-01-14T12:39:00.003-07:00

I promise that I will post sometime soon. For now, just know that we are alive and well and, oh yeah, I just got called to be the Temple Prep teacher in the singles ward we're attending now. For now, I'm patiently waiting for W-2's to flow into our mailbox so we can get some tax refund money, and Niklas is back in school again. Yay!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! I know it's late, but it always counts, right? ;)

MERRY CHRISTMAS! I got you some pics. :)

2008-12-21T11:08:00.018-07:00

I finally decided to get these pics posted of our little tree. It's very humble, but I think it came out pretty.(Although there are a few more presents under the tree.) It definitely adds warmth to our little apartment despite its iciness. :) Right now it's snowing outside, and there is already a lot of snow out there. I'll take a pic real quick after posting these other two pictures.

Here's a pic of us sitting in front of the tree when we put it up. We took a second picture as seen below, but uh, it came out kinda blurry; which is a tragedy because Niklas looked happier in this one! So much for the self-timer idea. :P We're thinking we need to get a new camera eventually.

And now, here are some pics just taken for your viewing pleasure. :)

This is a common scene for me. Niklas on his wonderful laptop. I envy the speed it has compared to this iMac I'm using right now. Pics are not fun to download when it takes such a long time. :( But see the tree--more presents! Guess who's present is the large blue box and who's is the small blue box? That's right---the squirt is mine. :)

This is what it looks like outside of our apartment right now. Our Jeep and Ford are in the foreground in between the other two cars.

Usually you can see the Rexburg temple up on the hill from this view, but as you can see, too much snow to see much of anything out there.

Okay, I decided to take some pics of myself out in the snow. Yeah, just try to ignore the lopsided eyes and big nose. :P Wow, Kristine, no wonder you made fun of my nose growing up---I always forget how puggish it really IS... ;)

This is me trying to look happy being out in the snow, but I think all I really wanted to do was get back inside the warm apartment. Niklas came home late last night from work and said that it was -21 degrees or something insane!

My mom sent us a box full of yummy things to eat (CHOCOLATE) and this is actually part of what I ate for breakfast---cookies and fudge!! Old habits die hard. :P Thanks Mom! And looky below at what Niklas was able to get last night with his Christmas money:

Now he can deal with the temptation to play games instead of prepping for classes in January. ;) Actually, I'm not too worried about that.

Here is our little nativity scene thanks to my mom.

Here are some pics of Niklas, since I am bad about taking pictures and I should get better since you only have this time in your life once in this life. I love this face--it is one of the dearest ones to me now. And I love that I get to see this look on his face so often. I love my husband.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (Whenever bedtime is for you, I guess. :P)

Great Happenings

2008-12-15T12:18:00.009-07:00

Sheesh, it's almost been a month since I last posted, and I don't even have a good excuse. All I know is that life has been busy, and when it hasn't been, I've wanted to play more than post. :)

A few fun things have happened since I last wrote (by the way, haven't seen a doctor yet but next year for sure---I'm probably going to try to get everything done like densist, optometrist, heart & kidney doctor for Niklas, etc. over the beginning months of January).

Number One: Niklas and I went to see "The Nutcracker" last night at the Civic Auditorium in Idaho Falls---being put on by a community ballet group. Turns out my Aunt Sharen and a few cousins were there as well, so we got to sit by them during the show. And I LOVED it!! I've wanted to see it for years now but never got enough gumption to purchase some tickets. Niklas has always loved the snow scene, and I think my favorite (although I really liked the snow dance also) was the waltz of the flowers. The dancer's costumes had a deep emerald green bodice that ended at the waist, where the pink fluffy&light skirt began, the pink being darker at the waist and fading into a lighter pink going down the length of the skirt. They really looked like upside-down flowers opening and dancing around on stage. It was beautiful. One of my co-workers played the grandma, and her daughter who is 9 was in a bunch of the dance scenes throughout. It was so cute to see all the little ballet dancers, especially the gumdrops (I think that's what they were, but could be wrong). The little boys and girls had to have only been 5, and they were bobbing their little gumdrop-capped heads up and down and nobody was in sync; but that just added to their charm. :)

Number Two: I FINALLY found a chocolate orange at Albertson's. It may not sound like a big deal, but to me it was! (I have been eating SO much chocolate lately. :P) Niklas and I have been craving those things since a few months ago, and I couldn't find a milk chocolate one anywhere recently---just dark and other flavors. Niklas was even waving his fist at the dark chocolate orange display at Walgreens a few weeks back for disappointing him. Needless to say, our lovely friends Bill and Linda Beck told me that they saw them at Albertson's, and so right before Niklas and I headed to "The Nutcracker" I ran into the nearest Albertson's and got one for our treat during the ballet. We had that thing gone well before the end of the show. :P So yummy!

Number Three: Niklas received a call to be the Ward Clerk in the BYU-I 20th singles ward in the 6th stake (Elder Eyring's son is the president of that stake, and who Niklas got to interview with). It was totally unexpected, but I am so excited for this great opportunity for him to serve. We will still be members of our married ward, and attend the activities, do my visiting teaching still, etc.; but we will be attending the meetings together of the 20th singles ward. It's going to be really odd to be in a singles atmosphere again. But I admit I'm a little intrigued about seeing what it's like now that I'm married. ;)

OH, and we got our tree up a few weeks ago, and I did take pictures, so I'll try to load those up tonight. We have been getting snow the past couple of days much to my dismay, and it's not going to get any better... :( It was really pretty last night, however. Large fluffy flakes---it made me want to push Niklas down into the inches of snow while heading home from our friend's (the Becks!) place. But I was nice...and made him give me a piggy-back ride instead. :P

Happy snow days to all! Hope you're surviving the craziness of the holidays.

Maybe "Twilight" Freaked It Out...

2008-11-19T12:16:00.010-07:00

So I realize that I need to still type about our visit to the Godfrey's and the Powell's here in Rigby. We had a a lot of fun time at both places, in gist. :)

But something happened this morning that kind of scared me, and I'm still not sure what is going on with it. Basically a few months ago while making a visit to the doctor, I was told that I had an irregular heartbeat. To make sure it wasn't anything serious, my heartbeat was assessed via an EKG, I think it was. I was told that I was fine, just had that odd irregular heartbeat. No biggie.

Sometimes during the last several years of my life my heart would feel uncomfortable, actually get painful if I breathed in too deep. I still have no idea why, but it only happened every few months, and I would just sit it out, and then it was fine. The weird thing is these little painful/uncomfortable episodes are a lot more frequent now (multiple times during a given month), and I don't necessarily ever reach the painful part of it---just the uncomfortableness that my heart isn't beating right and that it could become painful any second. They last for a few minutes, or several.

Anyway, last night as I was reading "Twilight" I noticed that my heart was feeling uncomfortable again. It lasted for a long time---even when I went to bed I think it still felt a bit odd. But nothing that 6 hours of sleep won't fix, right? Yeah, let's just say the book was finished mostly last night because it got supsenseful and Niklas had to listen to my gasps of dread as I read the last few chapters, so bedtime was a bit late...

I awoke at 5 a.m. and got up to leave for the gym. My little monthly friend is visiting me, so I also woke up with horrible cramps. Feeling like crud, I did my ab workout and headed to the college gym, continuting my workout by lifting weights. Halfway through my routine I notice that my heart is hurting again---more so than it did last night. Knowing me, you would know that I don't listen to my body extremely well---so I just tried not to put any pressure on my chest and kept lifting. Once done with the weights, I headed over to the treadmill to do my 20-minute run with hills. The fatigue from lifting weights compounded onto the lack-of-sleep fatigue, but I went full speed ahead into running anyway, as always, reading the Epilogue of "Twilight" as I ran. The run felt awful overall---I was looking forward the whole time to the part where I could walk at the end---I knew it would make me feel better. Wrong, of course. During my run my heart started to hurt on the right side more than on the left---it usually always hurts on my left side.

I finally got done with my 20 minutes and began walking; and felt like hurling. I thought, "Okay, just walk for a bit and you'll feel tons better. Just have to walk it out..." Even walking was a chore at that point. I stopped the treadmill and headed to get a towel. Right when my feet hit the gym floor, I felt almost the same way I did when I had donated plasma one time a couple years ago...I almost passed out while my plasma was being taken, and at the time I had never felt that horrible all over my body before. Now, at the gym, I was convinced as I slowly made my way to the towels that if I wasn't red from the run, my face would be stark white right now, because that's how nasty my body felt. I was afraid that I might pass out in the gym in front of all those people, because even my eye sight was starting to get a little blurry. And my little cramp friend that didn't want to work out with me came back once I made it back home (how kind of it).

In brief, I got home and was scared at how horrible I felt and how my heart was hurting like this so often--and I actually started to cry a little as I took my shower. I was contemplating whether something really was and is wrong with my heart or if it was brought on by other factors such as not enough sleep, etc. Maybe both.

I thought I would feel better once I got into the work day but now I am still fighting a headache, and getting up at all and walking around was a chore. I feel really tired, not in the usual way, though. I believe it's from that episode my heart had. Niklas just commented before I left for work that maybe my heart wasn't pumping enough oxygen to my body, and that's why I felt like death at the gym. I have always had bad circulation---with the whole abnormal heart beat thing, it makes a little more sense now.

So my question is, heart problems seem to sorta run in the family---Do I have a heart problem that I am completely unaware of, or is this irregular heartbeat simply a mild case that will never amount to anything seriuos? I guess time will tell. Hopefully. And here I was feeling like the "healthy" one in Niklas' and my relationship! :P

P.S. I realize that I pushed myself too hard and that made things worse today for my body---that's a given. What I'm wondering, however, is if anyone else I know ever has discomfort/slight pain in their chest around their heart on occassion? I think it is something like an arterial clogging on my left side---otherwise, why would it hurt like that randomly? I can be sitting down for hours and all of the sudden it does it.

Childhood Magic

2008-11-08T18:31:00.011-07:00

Right now I am sitting on our purple couch wrapped in the purple fleece blanket that I and my now in-laws and husband helped me to make---all nice and comfy. Well, except that Niklas is now a working man and is at Circuit City until 10 p.m., so I'll be here at the apartment to do whatever for a few more hours. I had good intentions to run today, but that didn't happen after all. Niklas and I slept in today (SO nice), and then got to head to a couple of crafty places to just look at some crafty stuff. Niklas started painting some miniatures again lately after getting some new paint, and after he was showing me his great paint jobs, it made me kind of eager to eventually do some more crafty stuff like I used to as a kid. Even cross-stitch, only, there's nothing out there that is that awesome-looking to me. I want to learn something new eventually, so we'll see what happens with that. A pic of some miniatures painted by Niklas (don't think they were recently painted though):

We also bought our Christmas tree a couple days ago! I keep calling it a squatty tree because it is only 4-feet tall. It's so sadly cute for being such a small fake tree! It already has lights on it, which makes it easier. We like real trees the best---but we would rather have a little one for now that we can enjoy for a few years in our little apartment for now. We looked at some Christmas ornaments also, but didn't get any today. I just love this time of year. It makes me want to go around all the stores and see all the Christmas things coming in. I know a lot of people hate this time of year for that exact reason---but Christmas time to me doesn't have a stressful connotation yet; only the magic and reverence.

Speaking of magic, once Niklas left for work a few hours ago I decided I really wanted to read a book, but didn't know which one. I picked up C.S. Lewis' first book from the Narnia Chronicles, "The Magician's Nephew." As soon as I started to read it brought me back to when I was a little girl and loved to be in the great outdoors with my sisters and by myself on occasion. Childhood had magic in it because anything was possible in my imagination, and it affected how I viewed reality. Reading (so far) about two children exploring a tunnel that runs through different houses, and having little hideaways in the attic, and finding a furnished room in an attic where the uncle of one child has magical rings that can transport one to another world was just what I needed right now. It made me remember how exciting it was to explore and learn new things as a kid---to always feel an adventure in the making, no matter how small. My sisters and I always made up stories and played them out, mostly about animals. We definitely had a lot of imagination that didn't go to waste. :)

I forgot about that "magic" in childhood until I picked up this book. Well, I hadn't completely forgotten it, but I had forgotten the actual feeling of that magic. Hope that makes sense---the wonder of a new adventure just beginning. I have only ever read "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" out of the Narnia chronicles, and now I look forward to reading the whole series and feel that wonder again about a new, magical world.

Anyway, after reading and feeling so wondrous about it all, I got super sleepy and took a nap---and didn't want to get up. I think I was laying here on this couch for two hours until I finally forced myself to just get up. I have been so tired lately. I know it's the late-to-bed, very-early-to-rise-to-get-to-the-gym-before-work that takes its toll throughout the week and catches up to me on the weekends. Ick.

And by the way, forgot to mention that I was finally able to buy the King's Quest games to play on Niklas' laptop!! We even got a monitor cable so the game screen will show on our TV instead. I started playing "The Perils of Rosella" a couple weeks ago and got up to the whale eating me part; but once I got spit out I realized that I had forgotten to get a fish to give to the pelican on the island. : / I haven't played again since then, but I'll have a desire again eventually. Niklas said he thought it was funny how jumpy I got at those games...but it's just from being a little girl and watching my siblings play them and getting freaked out when they died, or the troll was coming at them in the dark cave... It's just creepy, I can't help it! It doesn't matter if it's not realistic looking---it's the idea of something coming after ME... =: O They also have the Police Quest games and the Space Quest games for sale for the PC; so I want to get those eventually as well, but there's no way I'll want to play them by myself... So Diane, if you get back up here for winter, you'll have to come over on the weekends and play the classics. :) It would be like old times, and fun, and...creepy!

And also to Diane---I changed my settings also on this blog so you should be able to post and not have to verify with those stupid word things that you are human. Thanks for sharing the Frozen Hot Chocolate recipe!! I absolutely LOVED that stuff when Amber got it for us for Christmas one year---it was drinking that that I got my first-ever brain freeze. :P

Well, I'm off for the night. My next adventure is to go clean the bathroom. Yay...but it needs to get done. And OH, forgot to mention---Annie Godfrey emailed me last week and invited Niklas and I over to dinner tomorrow evening. She and Kory are living in Rigby now, so it will be fun to see them and their kids. I'll keep you posted! ;) I think I need to watch "Sabrina" tonight. That sounds like a great idea after the cleaning deal and making some dinner. Have a great night!

Phone Tones

2008-11-06T11:04:00.007-07:00

See this phone? It pretty much looks like the one in my office. Unassuming, modest, hardly ever rings to bother me, and collecting dust is one of its hobbies. In short, it is my roommate that I have really no relationship with---I'm much closer to my computer, keyboard, and mouse.

We're looking at what could be my work phone's cousin because it is one of the key players in my little rant right now. What is it about getting on the phone that makes some people feel an urge to be not-so-nice to others? Is it because they can't see your face and just hear this disembodied voice? Do they assume you are just a voice??

And what is it about using your modest work phone to call up a county office in, of all places, Kitsap, to ask a few simple property tax questions and then feel like the county person thinks you're an idiot that has a brick for a brain??

Okay, so it really wasn't that bad. I am still new at my job, still trying to get information for all these companies I keep books for to stay on top of the day-to-day business. I just have never liked it when working people seem like they are annoyed at your very existence because you called them on the phone to ask a few questions---cause isn't that's part of anyone's job? And maybe she didn't mean to sound impatient or slightly condescending/cross---but if not, how can you not recognize how your tone comes across to other people when you are saying with slight inflection in just the right places, "Nooo, they are 2008," etc. etc. etc.? Nothing against her, truly. But I seriously said, "Sheesh...!" outloud once I got off the phone with her, after her very fast hangup when I told her thank you for the info. Must be like those other government jobs...they don't have to be nice to you if they don't want, so they aren't---mostly.

Ahh, gotta love an office job. The good thing is that tonight is ward temple night---seems that I always have a little bit more stressful, etc. day when I am going to the temple in the evening. But the stressful days allow me to appreciate the peacefulness of the temple that much more. :)

Come What May, and Love It

2008-11-03T12:13:00.008-07:00

I just read this talk by Joseph B. Wirthlin while I ate my lunch, and it has such great counsel in it. There are a lot of points that I know I can improve on, but the one that especially hit me was learning to laugh. That one is hard for me, I've found out, when something happens to my detriment. For example...

One day I'm in a serious, not-so-fun mood and trying to make myself some stir-fry for dinner. Into the kitchen walks Niklas, who had been doing something or other in the living room---can't really remember because this happened a few months ago when I was still jobless. I think Niklas, being the kind soul that he is, wanted to help me out with what I was doing. On the counter was the famous hot Chili Garlic Sauce that you can get in the Asian portion of any grocery store, and for all I know I could have asked him to open it, as it was brand new and had that foil covering under the lid.

Niklas decided that the best way to break that foil covering was with, no, not a knife---but his forefinger. I looked over just as he was jabbing his finger into the foil covering and next thing I knew there was chili sauce flying everywhere, especially onto me. We'll just say I didn't laugh at that little incident...

But events like these are why I know I need to work on being able to laugh when things unfortunate come to pass, especially if I can laugh at others when something bad happens to them! (I don't laugh if it's something that actually hurts someone. Well, usually not...something about Niklas having a fire extinguisher land on his toe and then falling to the floor in a heap of laughter set me off just a little. :P He was laughing first!)

Anyway, the moral of this post is, Elder Wirthlin's mother said that when adversity, afflictions, or just plain trial-filled times come your way, "Come what may, and love it."

One Sword to Rule Them All...

2008-10-31T21:58:00.016-06:00

Okay, if you think this is a post about my obsession with "The Lord of the Rings," forget it! I don't care to see those movies again as long as I live, but you can love them all you want (or the books for that matter). :P

The above picture was actually taken today at my workplace from the main IT guy who is fantastic with a camera. For those of us who dressed up, Ryan wanted to get a serious picture of each of us in B&W and then typed in random text, emailing the result for us to enjoy---and they were so awesome! For whatever reason, though, I feel super silly having a serious face in pictures---it's probably because I feel like a goofball in costume.

Originally when people at work asked me if I was going to dress up for Halloween, I said no because I simply don't dress up anymore. I can't remember the last time I had an actual costume for Halloween. It was one of my favorite holidays as a kid, more so than Thanksgiving, because I got to dress up into something I'm not, and then go around the neighborhood getting free candy, then coming home to gorge myself the next few days (trading out the nasty Tootsie Rolls to my sisters and neighbor of course--ick) on my spoil. Along with the ritual was to play Nintendo with my sisters. So as was tradition for each holiday as we grew older, whether it be Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween, etc., we would eat the junk that was around the house, which was only natural that year, and play tons of Nintendo all day. That was how we had fun. And I have to say, it's still fun. :) But Halloween, since I no longer went trick-or-treating, had lost its charm...

But I'm totally getting off track. Anyway, a couple fun gals at work gave me a hard time about being a party-pooper when I said that I wasn't going to dress up, so the desire for a costume slowly grew on me over the next few days before the big day. I told Niklas about this, and somehow I started to think of costumes that would be an excuse for me to bring his medieval sword to work with me, since ever since my supervisor found out about it he always had to mention it in jest in conversation.

To my surprise, the evening before Halloween Eve, Niklas starts throwing out ideas about what I could be that could use a sword as an accessory. He thought of making fake armor, but that was pricey. So then a common medieval ranger came into view, and that became the choice costume.

The next day, on the 30th, while I accounted away at work, Niklas was scouring the abandoned lands of DI in Rexburg and Idaho Falls. He found a green dress that had the perfect top for a tunic. Next he found shoes, and then a pair of pants of the most hideous color, but perfect for the outfit, as well as a button-up undershirt. I was impressed, and so flattered that he would spend all this time and effort last-minute for a costume for me! What a guy. :)

Here was the final result, taken this morning before I left for work:

I'm not a fan of this picture, but it shows the costume pretty well. The cloak we found at Wal-Mart, and the green around the boats was cut out from the skirt part of the green dress found at DI. And of course, the infamous sword, which you can see in the first pic posted, of course.

Off to work I went, super tired like usual and having to go to the new sports bar in my get-up to help with the inventory count. I ended up popsicle-ized in a freezer for 1.5+ hours while another helpful co-worker tried to count things like prime rib, beer, wine, bread, etc. I was so glad to finally leave around almost noon and head back to the office. Oh, and did I forget to mention that we had a potluck today at work? So I signed up to bring pepper pork for sandwiches and Niklas ended up making it with crockpot magic the day before. I just had to warm it back up. Gold star for Niklas again!

Once I got back to the office, it was time for the costume contest. As I entered the sales room full of people, including Homer Simpson, a geisha, a jester (not sure what it's really called...), etc., my co-worker Darcie exclaimed that she was so proud of me for dressing up. :P And then I found out that we were supposed to do some kind of act for the judges, and it was my turn. Totally not what I was hoping for. So after hearing someone tell me to walk the runway, I did just that---I goofily pulled the sword from my sheath and started to strut with blade in hand down a make-believe "runway", making girly poses with the sword. After a few mild whoops and hollers, I was done, and glad of it, only to hear one of the judges say, "I wasn't looking---you'll have to go again." WHAT...? Once was bad enough! {:'( By that time I had lost my flourish and fake confidence, so I just did some lame sword poses and called it good. In short, totally didn't win; but it was fun to see what others did on the spot, and to know that I wasn't the only self-conscious one.

Life became quiet again in my little office as I tried to focus on work, and next thing I know the secretary comes in (totally dressed to the nines in a punk rocker outfit with blood-red and black eye shadow with a Guitar Hero guitar to top it off---she truly looked the part---freaky!) and says, "Someone here who wants to see you." I'm thinking, who would want to see me?? As I wait with a smile on my face, I suddenly see this tall cloaked figure through my hallway window---but not his head. Fear grips my heart, and...!

YES, Creepy Dude sweeps into my office, his skeleton eyes flashing red (literally) and coming at me in a frightening manner while other co-workers Ryan, Robb, and secretary Ashley look on gleefully. This horrifying grim reaper kept looking down at me, pawing at my face and hair and growling if I said anything at all to it! Talk about creepy!! And if you notice in the picture, I had left the sword resting against my cabinet, so I was helpless to fight back. I played it up, of course, but I was so relieved when that guy left. After freaking me out for a minute or two, he swept just as swiftly out of my office as he had come in, and headed into the sales room. A couple minutes later a young woman comes into my office and says how much she hates that costume and was hiding from him. I guess he is a friend of some people at work, and he comes every year to freak the office out. He also loves to scare trick-or-treaters on Halloween. How sad! After talking to Ashley a bit later about Creepy Dude, she said that she thought of telling me beforehand that he was coming; but then she thought, "Eh, nobody told ME when he was coming when I was new." I made sure to let her know how thoughtful that was of her---how sensitive. :P

If only I had taken a stance against Creepy Dude...

Ha, yeah right. If only.

After Creepy Dude left the premise completely I decided that I was Halloweened out. That's when Ryan took the B&W photos and then I was super tired after the day's festivities and junk food. (Yes, believe that I hunted down the chocolate in the potluck room and ate too much.) But I had to stick around for the cute little trick-or-treaters that would be coming through the office, the children of those who work there. So I got to give candy to a tiny ladybug, a couple of green fairies, Optimus Prime, Power Rangers, and even a little peacock among others. I love little kids in costume, so I'm definitely glad that I stuck around for that.

In the end, this Halloween turned out to one of the better ones, thanks to the workplace. After getting home I turned into a pumpkin and smashed myself upon the couch next to my pumpkin husband, and we enjoyed watching the ever-so classic movie "Short Circuit."

I had to make some dessert tonight for tomorrow's Visiting Teaching Conference that I have to attend tomorrow morning from 11 to 1. Also, lookey, I baked some orange crescents for the ward Halloween Party a week ago---here's a picture and a link to the recipe if you would like to try them sometime.

http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Orange-Crescents

Anyway, I'd better get off for now before I keep writing. Happy Halloween!!

A Peaceful Email

2008-10-22T08:47:00.002-06:00

Just checked my email and Beka sent this out to everyone. I was so glad to read that she is so peaceful about Jacom (sorry for the misspelled name!). Email from Beka:

My Dear Family and Friends,

Early the morning of October 21, 2008 Jacom return back to our Father in Heaven. He fought a great fight with his cancer for over 9 years. His passing was very peaceful and calming. I have gained a great peace from the Lord. I know that Jacom is so much better and happier. I do hope that you all can get the same peace I have. Anyone is welcome to come to his funeral. The details are below.

I do ask that if you need to gain more information please call the house at ###. Also if any of you want to send flowers or other gifts please do a donation to The Trust. The account is set up at ***.

I love y’all so much and thank you for all you have done for Jacom, Me, and Hayden.

A Sobering Feeling...

2008-10-22T08:26:00.000-06:00

I am actually at work right now, but wanted to take a quick minute to write. I've been wanting to write so much lately but haven't seemed to make it happen, or just loose the desire by the end of the work day.

This post is not a happy one, however. It would be happier/funnier news to write about the incident recently where Niklas found a gray hair on my head, or how we had family visit this last weekend, or even about the super fun baby shower I went to the weekend before last. But unfortunately, I received a phone call last night containing nothing but tragic news.

Jacome Larson, married to a former roommate of mine, Beka, and battling cancer most of his life, passed away recently. I was called by Liz Kirkman (former roommate) last night on our way out of Aunt Sharen's from dinner, who had to leave me a message about this as I didn't pick up just then. The fact alone that Beka (actually Becca, but we always called her "Beak-ah" to keep it from getting mixed up with Becca Kirkman) has just lost her husband is bad enough, but on top of it Jacome also left behind a little boy, Hayden. Although I know that he is in a good place and will always watch over his family, it has always pierced my heart more poignantly when I hear of such a young death, when that person is of a tender age, just having begun their family.

I didn't know Jacome super well, but I knew him. And I coudln't help but cry silently the whole way home from Idaho Falls as Niklas held my hand. And later as I sobbed in Niklas' arms, I coudln't help but feel so much compassion for Beka and Jacome's family. How lonely it will be and terribly painful at the start....even Niklas was speaking words of comfort, how this would be an opportunity of growth for Beka. But that doesn't stop the pain of the heart, the feeling of loss that must be felt for now. But how grateful I am for temple marriages, for I know that Jacome will be reunited with his family someday and it will be a joyous occassion beyond all measure. And it is also comforting to know that Jacome did experience the joy of being blessed with a wife, his best friend, and also the joy of receiving a precious little soul into his home. I know he will not be denied any blessings in the end, and it was for a wise purpose not known to us that it was his time to go.

God bless the Larson families. May you feel of the love God has for you through the reaching out of others throughout your lives.

Not Winterish Fall---it IS Winter

2008-10-09T13:48:00.000-06:00

I just now heard from a co-worker that it's snowing right now, although not in the part of Idaho Falls we're in right now; I just hope it's not in Rexburg!! I used to love snow, but it hasn't been quite as magical ever since I've had to drive in it; but I still like its other aspects. I love the atmosphere of wonder and awe it creates. One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Still, Still, Still." How true that song is. :)

Back to work like ususal---just had to announce the first snow of the season!

It's Starting to Feel a Lot Like...Winterish Fall??

2008-10-09T12:57:00.000-06:00

So I just need to take a break real quick from work and from Great Plains posting, etc. Ahh, that's nice. I have been working through lunch on a regular basis now, but that doesn't mean that I don't take breaks once in a while. (Too many, I'm sure.) But it's nice to have a moment to just think about other things besides month end entries that I need to do...

I woke up this morning to find it super chilly outside, and the cars starting to get a glimmer of frost on them at this time. I got ready like usual while Niklas (sweetie pie) made my lunch for today, and then I was out the door a few minutes late like usual (the Miller Curse). And I've noticed that drivers around here don't believe in turn signals or looking before you pull out/ merge into another lane, etc. But then again, who am I to talk? I've probably cut so many people off without realizing. So while driving lazily with cruise control on and eating a homemade breakfast cookie, I realized how drab it looked outside, and it truly felt like winter...but isn't it still fall? There is still a cloudy covering over the whole of my little world in Idaho, and today feels so much like a holiday, as if I should be at home right now drinking some hot cocoa and playing Gauntlet Legends with Niklas. :P (Okay, so kidding on that last part, although we did that on occasion in the past.)

Besides that, I really have nothing much to write on right now---just felt like writing. One dilemma, however---found out last night that Niklas will have to work on Black Friday, which means that we'll get to spend 24 hours in Utah for Thanksgiving and then have to head right back home. Another option is for me to stay the weekend and catch a shuttle later while Niklas goes home Thanksgiving evening. Not sure if I like this idea, although I looked forward to spending time with family. Because honestly, it almost feels wrong to have one of us stay while the other has to leave for work---but is that typical? I have no idea yet what we will do, but we'll figure it out soon enough.

Back to work...

I'm online, I'm online! :D

2008-10-08T09:30:00.000-06:00

HELLO WORLD...!

You have no idea, but this is a great breakthrough for me---I have never in my life actually gotten set up on the internet because I figured (and it may still happen) that I would have a hard time keeping things updated. Anywho, I am actually at work and have a million and one things to get done---so goodbye for now!